Working through (and ideally, overcoming) our socially-engrained, ownership-based relationship with relationships, and our love-hate relationship with sex, our bodies, and our desires, is fertile ground for social (r)evolution. On this front of the (r)evolution, we are talking about monogamy/non-monogamy, polyamory/polyfidelity, new familial structures, jealousy: nature, nurture, or both?, love unlimited – and unlimiting, sex as divine interaction, sex as a basic physical need, sex as a metaphor, sex as love and love as sex.
We are here to talk about the awe-inspiring, the good, the bad, and the ugly. We are here to field ideas, and discuss options, choices, alternatives. We are here to network, analyze, find comrades. We are here to feed our minds, and to support one another in our quests for self-knowledge, growth and community.
We are here to claim our bodies, our genitals, our hearts and our guts, and to give voice to what that means for each of us. Let us explore our own uncharted territories, and lay claim to our own secret, hidden stories. Pleasure and pain, and the spectrum between and around those poles, are all welcome here.
Communication Guidelines for this list are itemized below. While being pretty basic, they are an attempt to create an interesting, compelling, yet safe and somewhat circumspect space for discussion of these topics on-line.
Here's how we start: imagine you are in my home, sitting cross-legged in my living room. Just you, me and a few (hundred) of our friends. We are talking. You are looking at me, I am looking at you, and we are connected. Now, staying in this connected space, please read the guidelines listed here.
Communication Guidelines for (R)evolution in my Pants:
Communicate respectfully. Even if in disagreement, strive to maintain respect. There are people behind the words you are reading, and in this medium, if you attack the words, the person behind them is likely to feel attacked too. Post only things you would say in a person-to-person meeting.
Listen deeply. Hear and absorb before you respond. If you feel fired up, wait 24 hours to send a post, or have a friend, lover, coach or mentor read your post before you send it out.
Speak from experience. As often as possible, make “I-” based statements rather than “you-” based statements. I hear more easily when I feel accepted, less easily when I feel judged or accused.
Define wants, needs, boundaries, and desired outcomes of communication. Say “I want feedback...”, “ I don’t want feedback...”, “I need resources and support...”, “I just want to be heard...” “I’d like to start a discussion thread on the topic of...”’.
Maintain a healthy sense of humor. To completely bastardize a quote from my dear Emma Goldman, “If I can’t dance (naked for money even, if I wanna. If I can’t laugh, cry, fuck, love, reveal my soul, hide my heart, run, play, jump up and down...) it’s not my (r)evolution!”
Revolution in my Pants is brought to you by Resist!.Ca, and by me; LaSara Firefox. If you want to know more about me, what I do, who I am, and why these topics are important to me, please visit my website.
To see the collection of prior postings to the list,
visit the RevolutionInMyPants
(The current archive is only available to the list