[Viva] Dating and Disclosure

[Danielle]

Good evening ladies.

I have a long and winding tale regarding my experiences with disclosure and
dating.  The pertinent point is that I waste no time disclosing my HIV
status because I find there is less residual emotional impact when it is
one of the first things a potential romantic interest learns about me.  By
putting my status out on the table as soon as I realize there is any mutual
interest beyond a friendly cup of coffee together they don't have time for
anything except back peddling to change their mind.  Better for me.  Better
for them.  I'm always happy to let them easily off the hook.

I'm new here ... just since meeting Margarite this past long weekend at the
Gathering in Vancouver .... and will write up some kind of bio introduction
at some point soon.  In the meantime I'll do my best to participate here,
at least by way of responding to others' posts.

Be well.
Danielle

On Wed, Apr 4, 2018 at 2:31 PM, Jan Ouellette <janyblue811 at hotmail.com>
wrote:

> Thank you all for your love and hope❤
> Janet
>
> On Apr 4, 2018 2:21 PM, heidi safford via Viva <viva at lists.resist.ca>
> wrote:
> Ladies THANK YOU for sharing your stories. They are lovely to hear
> and they give me HOPE [image: *:x lovestruck]
> Heidi
>
>
> ------------------------------
> *From:* Pegfrank <pegfrank at telus.net>
> *To:* Margarite Sanchez <Viva at lists.resist.ca>
> *Sent:* Wednesday, April 4, 2018 11:38 AM
> *Subject:* [Viva] Dating and Disclosure
>
> Hi
>
> At the gathering I shared that I had met a partner, someone to sit quietly
> at home, and adventure (locally) with — online. He does not like to travel,
> and has little funds to do so. I shared my status on our second date, which
> I often did with others. My feeling is — if I get a bad reaction, this is
> not someone who I want to spend time with. But it hurts initially. There
> were a few slaps across the face — figuratively. In fact, I was ready to
> give up. I was shifting my focus from partnership to someone to have an
> occasionally coffee with, when I met this guy. After talking to a few a
> women, who are scared by the prospect of online dating, and disclosure, I
> asked the guy, why he didn’t leave. He knows very little about HIV.
> “You are so trustworthy. I trusted, immediately, that you wouldn’t hurt
> me.” So that’s my story. Does anyone else have one? I encourage women to
> get out and see if there is someone waiting for them. We feel like we have
> been waiting for each other for dos of our lives. Things are so easy
> between us. There is an energy that arises from relationships that doesn’t
> get aroused by anything else. If you want a relationship, imagine what is
> critically important, let other stuff go, and go for it. I want us all to
> be content.
> Hugs from here. And I know that this is only applicable to some of us, but
> thought I would share.
> - Peggy Frank
>
> “
>
> *I have been and still am a seeker, but I have ceased to question stars
> and books; I have begun to listen to the teachings*
> *My blood whispers to me.*”
> - Herman Hesse
>
>
>
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