[Viva] Dating and Disclosure

[wendy stevens]

I love that story, Peggy!!! It's so hard when you meet someone, you like
them....then have to drop that bomb!!! As a peer navigator, disclosure is a
topic that comes up all of the time with clients and PLBC members. I give
GREAT suggestions, walk them thru how to do it so it works for them,
encourage them (only when they feel disclosing isn't going to put them in
danger), offer to be part of the conversation, empower them with knowledge
to be able to answer a variety of questions and concerns etc.... HOWEVER,
when it comes to me having to disclose to someone....it's another story.
Lol. I've had mostly positive experiences disclosing. However, one person
who I thought disclosing to would be ok. We hadn't had sex (intercourse)
yet, just oral. When I told him, he didn't say a word for about 15 (long,
agonizing) seconds. He then looked me in the eye and told me that if he
gets HIV, he'll be putting a bullet through both of our heads. This was
only a few months ago.
Again tho, most of my experience with disclosure has been much better than
that. Lol.

Wendy


On Apr 4, 2018 12:07 PM, "Denise Wozniak" <deniseswozniak at gmail.com> wrote:

> So beautiful, Peggy.
>
> I met Henry at a wedding and at the end of the night he asked for my
> number. I said "no, it's me, it's not you" - of course you all know what
> that means. He said "oh all the girls say that!". I said "no really, this
> time it is".
> I got a note the next day with him asking to FB friend me.. ugh! I said
> well I will friend you but I'm pretty open about this and you will see it
> on my FB so I have to tell you.  He said "I know...". I was a little
> shocked.  I aid "you know what?". He said: that you're HIV+.. I Googled you
> and I love what I've read on your blogs.. I want to get to know you"
> So the next year we got married.  You could have knocked me down with a
> feather!
>
> Denise
>
> On Wed, Apr 4, 2018 at 11:23 AM, Pegfrank <pegfrank at telus.net> wrote:
>
>> Hi
>>
>> At the gathering I shared that I had met a partner, someone to sit
>> quietly at home, and adventure (locally) with — online. He does not like to
>> travel, and has little funds to do so. I shared my status on our second
>> date, which I often did with others. My feeling is — if I get a bad
>> reaction, this is not someone who I want to spend time with. But it hurts
>> initially. There were a few slaps across the face — figuratively. In fact,
>> I was ready to give up. I was shifting my focus from partnership to someone
>> to have an occasionally coffee with, when I met this guy. After talking to
>> a few a women, who are scared by the prospect of online dating, and
>> disclosure, I asked the guy, why he didn’t leave. He knows very little
>> about HIV.
>> “You are so trustworthy. I trusted, immediately, that you wouldn’t hurt
>> me.” So that’s my story. Does anyone else have one? I encourage women to
>> get out and see if there is someone waiting for them. We feel like we have
>> been waiting for each other for dos of our lives. Things are so easy
>> between us. There is an energy that arises from relationships that doesn’t
>> get aroused by anything else. If you want a relationship, imagine what is
>> critically important, let other stuff go, and go for it. I want us all to
>> be content.
>> Hugs from here. And I know that this is only applicable to some of us,
>> but thought I would share.
>> - Peggy Frank
>>
>> “
>>
>> *I have been and still am a seeker,but I have ceased to question stars
>> and books;I have begun to listen to the teachings*
>> *My blood whispers to me.*”
>> - Herman Hesse
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> Viva mailing list
>> Viva at lists.resist.ca
>> https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/viva
>>
>>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Viva mailing list
> Viva at lists.resist.ca
> https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/viva
>
>
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.resist.ca/pipermail/viva/attachments/20180404/6315e1e3/attachment.html>