[Viva] November groups

Sun Nov 17 10:36:32 PST 2013

Hi again,
Denise your thoughts remind me of something I came across in the early days
of my diagnosis. It was a quote from Stephen Levine, who has written many
books around mindfulness and death and dying, he also worked with Elizabeth
Kubler Ross. He said "You aren't responsible FOR your illness but you are
responsible TO your illness".
Somehow for me that took a lot of the guilt away and was a good motivator
to put my self care first and foremost.

Love you all SO much!!!!

On Thu, Nov 14, 2013 at 10:22 AM, Denise Becker <dbecker106 at gmail.com>wrote:

> Dear Dee:
>
> I think you have a very good way with words and expressing what others are
> also feeling.
>
> Every time I go to take my pills, I am reminded that I have HIV and
> sometimes I feel a real resistance to taking them, although I do.
>
> One thing that did help me to some extent was listening to the words of
> Eckhart Tolle.  He said it is very difficult not to become your illness.  I
> thought about that a lot and felt my whole being was HIV, I had become the
> disease and it was hard to look at myself in any other way.  I thought
> about my childhood and the person I was then.  I remembered being happy and
> a little actress and how the actress part was still serving me well!  I
> wondered where that little girl had gone.
>
> I decided that she was still there but the HIV had become like a bad weed
> growing all around and strangling her out.  What would it take to have her
> break through?  I decided that HIV would never be away from me but that it
> would be part of who I am and not my heart and soul.  It was a chapter in
> my life that carried through in the rest of the story but it would not
> define me or who I am.
>
> When I realized that, it helped an enormous amount and I finally started
> to live and be a happy person again, even though the reality of HIV still
> there but I won't allow it to be so prominent and rule me.
>
> I'm not saying I have dealt with this demon at all but if I have to I will
> fight it all the way.
>
> Denise
>
>
> On Thu, Nov 14, 2013 at 10:00 AM, Margarite Sanchez <
> margaritesanchez at gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Hi Dee,
>> You have eloquently put into words the experience that most of us have
>> lived or are currently living. Having this huge secret, an invisible
>> boarder between ourselves and the people we interact with. Thanks for
>> expressing it so well and thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
>> Sorry you can't make group this month but I hope you can arrange your
>> December appointments to coincide with the groups December 11th and 13th.
>> Much love,
>> ox ox
>> M
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> On Tue, Nov 12, 2013 at 12:33 PM, Dee Dee <homefreedeb at hotmail.com>wrote:
>>
>>> Hey M,
>>>
>>> Glad to hear meetings are still happening. I wish I could be there this
>>> month but my Dr appt was changed to first week Dec! Sad!
>>>
>>> How are you doing? I am guessing with this gift giving season upon us
>>> that you are very busy replenishing stock for your home business.
>>>
>>> I wish I had internet at home. So many days I think about something I
>>> would like to discuss with you but by the time I get to the library
>>> computer the momentum is lost...
>>>
>>> 1) I watch each week as my pill box empties and needs refilling. It
>>> feels like a reminder that my life is passing me by so fast; that my days
>>> are numbered, constantly reminds me I am sick, constantly reminds me I have
>>> a secret, constantly reminds me that I must own up to my role in my
>>> situation-would love to blame someone else totally but in reality I think I
>>> own some of that. I keep busy to not have the time to think of my situation.
>>>
>>> 2) Thru volunteering at the local soup kitchen I met a woman who helped
>>> me with a job at the BC Parks last summer. I met a few people there and
>>> remain friends with a few people even now that the job has ended. It is
>>> nice to have 'friends' here but the reality is I know I am not being real.
>>> These people don't know me, don't know about me, I have a big secret which
>>> I feel puts a wall up between myself and any 'friend'. I know we all have
>>> secrets but those are ones we could tell if we chose to. My secret I don't
>>> want to tell and for lots of reasons. Different kind of secret as I see it.
>>> Makes me feel false or phony.
>>>
>>> Not sure if I have voiced myself well but If I was at group I would
>>> bring up these topics. Does anyone else think these things?
>>>
>>> Cheers for now,
>>> D
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>  ------------------------------
>>> Date: Fri, 8 Nov 2013 15:07:51 -0800
>>> From: margaritesanchez at gmail.com
>>> To: viva at lists.resist.ca
>>> Subject: [Viva] November groups
>>>
>>>
>>>  Hi ViVA gals,
>>> Re: *Upcoming November Women's HIV Peer Support Groups*
>>>
>>> The *Vancouver Women's Health Collective peer support group will meet
>>> this Wednesday, November 13th, 5:00 - 7:00 p.m. *Hot dinner will be
>>>  provided.
>>>
>>> The *Oak Tree Women's Group at 4500 Oak Street* (downstairs from the
>>> Oaktree clinic) on *Friday November 15th 11:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m.*
>>> Hot lunch provided
>>>
>>>  Please spread the word to any HIV+ women who might be interested. If
>>> transportation and/or childcare are needed please call Jane at 604
>>> 875-3755.
>>> Attention: New Parking procedure at Oak Tree group;
>>> come in to get a code before buying your parking ticket
>>>
>>> Thank you once again,
>>> Hope to see you there.
>>> all the best,
>>> Margarite
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________ Viva mailing list
>>> Viva at lists.resist.ca
>>> https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/viva
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> Viva mailing list
>>> Viva at lists.resist.ca
>>> https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/viva
>>>
>>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> Viva mailing list
>> Viva at lists.resist.ca
>> https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/viva
>>
>>
>
>
> --
> www.denise-becker.com
> Queen's Gold Jubilee Medal
> Queen's Diamond Jubilee Medal
> cell: 250-870-1714
>
> _______________________________________________
> Viva mailing list
> Viva at lists.resist.ca
> https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/viva
>
>
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.resist.ca/pipermail/viva/attachments/20131117/81592cc6/attachment.html>