[Viva] November groups

Thu Nov 14 10:22:17 PST 2013

Dear Dee:

I think you have a very good way with words and expressing what others are
also feeling.

Every time I go to take my pills, I am reminded that I have HIV and
sometimes I feel a real resistance to taking them, although I do.

One thing that did help me to some extent was listening to the words of
Eckhart Tolle.  He said it is very difficult not to become your illness.  I
thought about that a lot and felt my whole being was HIV, I had become the
disease and it was hard to look at myself in any other way.  I thought
about my childhood and the person I was then.  I remembered being happy and
a little actress and how the actress part was still serving me well!  I
wondered where that little girl had gone.

I decided that she was still there but the HIV had become like a bad weed
growing all around and strangling her out.  What would it take to have her
break through?  I decided that HIV would never be away from me but that it
would be part of who I am and not my heart and soul.  It was a chapter in
my life that carried through in the rest of the story but it would not
define me or who I am.

When I realized that, it helped an enormous amount and I finally started to
live and be a happy person again, even though the reality of HIV still
there but I won't allow it to be so prominent and rule me.

I'm not saying I have dealt with this demon at all but if I have to I will
fight it all the way.

Denise

On Thu, Nov 14, 2013 at 10:00 AM, Margarite Sanchez <
margaritesanchez at gmail.com> wrote:

> Hi Dee,
> You have eloquently put into words the experience that most of us have
> lived or are currently living. Having this huge secret, an invisible
> boarder between ourselves and the people we interact with. Thanks for
> expressing it so well and thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
> Sorry you can't make group this month but I hope you can arrange your
> December appointments to coincide with the groups December 11th and 13th.
> Much love,
> ox ox
> M
>
>
>
>
> On Tue, Nov 12, 2013 at 12:33 PM, Dee Dee <homefreedeb at hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Hey M,
>>
>> Glad to hear meetings are still happening. I wish I could be there this
>> month but my Dr appt was changed to first week Dec! Sad!
>>
>> How are you doing? I am guessing with this gift giving season upon us
>> that you are very busy replenishing stock for your home business.
>>
>> I wish I had internet at home. So many days I think about something I
>> would like to discuss with you but by the time I get to the library
>> computer the momentum is lost...
>>
>> 1) I watch each week as my pill box empties and needs refilling. It feels
>> like a reminder that my life is passing me by so fast; that my days are
>> numbered, constantly reminds me I am sick, constantly reminds me I have a
>> secret, constantly reminds me that I must own up to my role in my
>> situation-would love to blame someone else totally but in reality I think I
>> own some of that. I keep busy to not have the time to think of my situation.
>>
>> 2) Thru volunteering at the local soup kitchen I met a woman who helped
>> me with a job at the BC Parks last summer. I met a few people there and
>> remain friends with a few people even now that the job has ended. It is
>> nice to have 'friends' here but the reality is I know I am not being real.
>> These people don't know me, don't know about me, I have a big secret which
>> I feel puts a wall up between myself and any 'friend'. I know we all have
>> secrets but those are ones we could tell if we chose to. My secret I don't
>> want to tell and for lots of reasons. Different kind of secret as I see it.
>> Makes me feel false or phony.
>>
>> Not sure if I have voiced myself well but If I was at group I would bring
>> up these topics. Does anyone else think these things?
>>
>> Cheers for now,
>> D
>>
>>
>>
>>  ------------------------------
>> Date: Fri, 8 Nov 2013 15:07:51 -0800
>> From: margaritesanchez at gmail.com
>> To: viva at lists.resist.ca
>> Subject: [Viva] November groups
>>
>>
>>  Hi ViVA gals,
>> Re: *Upcoming November Women's HIV Peer Support Groups*
>>
>> The *Vancouver Women's Health Collective peer support group will meet
>> this Wednesday, November 13th, 5:00 - 7:00 p.m. *Hot dinner will be
>>  provided.
>>
>> The *Oak Tree Women's Group at 4500 Oak Street* (downstairs from the
>> Oaktree clinic) on *Friday November 15th 11:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m.*
>> Hot lunch provided
>>
>>  Please spread the word to any HIV+ women who might be interested. If
>> transportation and/or childcare are needed please call Jane at 604
>> 875-3755.
>> Attention: New Parking procedure at Oak Tree group;
>> come in to get a code before buying your parking ticket
>>
>> Thank you once again,
>> Hope to see you there.
>> all the best,
>> Margarite
>>
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>
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-- 
www.denise-becker.com
Queen's Gold Jubilee Medal
Queen's Diamond Jubilee Medal
cell: 250-870-1714
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