[Viva] Denise B. Website

[Denise Becker]

On Mon, Oct 29, 2012 at 2:20 PM, Denise Becker <dbecker106 at gmail.com> wrote:

> I am replying to your message in red below:
>
> On Mon, Oct 29, 2012 at 12:52 AM, kathy G <kathy.grant at telus.net> wrote:
>
>> Ms. Becker and Viva Gals,
>> I am sorry, I did go to the  website and misunderstood when i read the
>> main heading under Denise's name- "Professional Speaker / Speaking Coach"
>>  I assumed that would mean she would charge a fee or honorarium for these
>> services.  It is nice to know she is not selling anything.
>>
>
> I have spoken for many, many years telling people that women and families
> get HIV - totally for free.  I am finally going back to work doing
> something I am passionate about - which is letting people know about the
> stigma women with HIV face... if I get paid for it, then it's about time!
>
>> I read the blog re what NOT to say to a person who has lost someone and
>> personally, I didnt mind last January when i lost my dad to cancer, that
>> people did their best to express themselves with this uncomfortable
>> subject.  Lets face it,,, if you have hiv or cancer or whatever that could
>> be terminal, and, if you choose disclose your medical condition - you set
>> yourself up-- to have to help people understand what you are going thru.
>>  If they screw it up what can you say, : "my god that was tastless?"
>> I think whether its a child or a parent or a best friend we lose, we are
>> not born knowing how to cope.  Nor should we IMPOSE a 'list' of do's and
>> dont's on others.
>>
> IMPOSING a list?  I personally find that comment completely offensive.
>  The reason I wrote this blog was  because I was approached by a friend for
> advice.  Her friend had their baby daughter die and she was wondering what
> she could say or do.  This was not the first time someone had asked me and
> so I thought it would be useful to put a list together of what I found
> helpful.  After putting the list together, I had many people write and say
> they found it useful.
>
>> IMHO it is distasteful at the very least.  However, how you choose to
>> broadcast your life is entirely up to you, Denise, but as a mother I would
>> never use my deceased child as a vehicle to reach people on my blog.  Again
>> i am referring to the Professional Speaker / Coach aspect of this site.
>>
> So you think I am USING my deceased child as a vehicle to reach people in
> a blog.. wow!  That is so offensive I don't have to the words to describe
> it.  How DARE you?  To think that I would use my baby as a way of promoting
> myself?  I have tried and tired to just talk about being positive.. but no,
> everyone wants my personal story because they know it will make others
> understand HIV and how it affects families.  For years I tried not to speak
> about it but Dr. Forbes and Lori Schecter finally convinced me it would
> help others.  And now for you to say I am USING my daughter is an
> absolute insult.
>
>>
>>
>
>> I hope you can find in this email,  my own personal opinion, and not
>> disrepectful to how you choose to express yourself.
>>
>
How can I find it anything else except disrespectful?  It is an TOTAL
INSULT.
Sincerely!
Denise

>
>> Sincerely,
>> Kathy
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> Viva mailing list
>> Viva at lists.resist.ca
>> https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/viva
>>
>>
>
>
> --
> www.denise-becker.com
> Queen's Golden Jubilee Medal
> Queen' Diamond Jubilee Medal
> cell: 250-870-1714
>
>


-- 
www.denise-becker.com
Queen's Golden Jubilee Medal
Queen' Diamond Jubilee Medal
cell: 250-870-1714
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