[Viva] Denise B. Website

[Denise Becker]

I am replying to your message in red below:

On Mon, Oct 29, 2012 at 12:52 AM, kathy G <kathy.grant at telus.net> wrote:

> Ms. Becker and Viva Gals,
> I am sorry, I did go to the  website and misunderstood when i read the
> main heading under Denise's name- "Professional Speaker / Speaking Coach"
>  I assumed that would mean she would charge a fee or honorarium for these
> services.  It is nice to know she is not selling anything.
>

I have spoken for many, many years telling people that women and families
get HIV - totally for free.  I am finally going back to work doing
something I am passionate about - which is letting people know about the
stigma women with HIV face... if I get paid for it, then it's about time!

> I read the blog re what NOT to say to a person who has lost someone and
> personally, I didnt mind last January when i lost my dad to cancer, that
> people did their best to express themselves with this uncomfortable
> subject.  Lets face it,,, if you have hiv or cancer or whatever that could
> be terminal, and, if you choose disclose your medical condition - you set
> yourself up-- to have to help people understand what you are going thru.
>  If they screw it up what can you say, : "my god that was tastless?"
> I think whether its a child or a parent or a best friend we lose, we are
> not born knowing how to cope.  Nor should we IMPOSE a 'list' of do's and
> dont's on others.
>
IMPOSING a list?  I personally find that comment completely offensive.  The
reason I wrote this blog was  because I was approached by a friend for
advice.  Her friend had their baby daughter die and she was wondering what
she could say or do.  This was not the first time someone had asked me and
so I thought it would be useful to put a list together of what I found
helpful.  After putting the list together, I had many people write and say
they found it useful.

> IMHO it is distasteful at the very least.  However, how you choose to
> broadcast your life is entirely up to you, Denise, but as a mother I would
> never use my deceased child as a vehicle to reach people on my blog.  Again
> i am referring to the Professional Speaker / Coach aspect of this site.
>
So you think I am USING my deceased child as a vehicle to reach people in a
blog.. wow!  That is so offensive I don't have to the words to describe it.
 How DARE you?  To think that I would use my baby as a way of promoting
myself?  I have tried and tired to just talk about being positive.. but no,
everyone wants my personal story because they know it will make others
understand HIV and how it affects families.  For years I tried not to speak
about it but Dr. Forbes and Lori Schecter finally convinced me it would
help others.  And now for you to say I am USING

>
>

> I hope you can find in this email,  my own personal opinion, and not
> disrepectful to how you choose to express yourself.
> Sincerely,
> Kathy
>
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>
>


-- 
www.denise-becker.com
Queen's Golden Jubilee Medal
Queen' Diamond Jubilee Medal
cell: 250-870-1714
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