[Smashpatriarchy] Thoughts on SAPS

[Sam Rudolph]

Also here is the above mentioned embroidery patch!


On Thu, Sep 26, 2013 at 5:19 PM, Sam Rudolph <shrudolph at gmail.com> wrote:

> Hey folks, I'm spending time with a friend and we were talking about lots
> of different things including SAP and feminism in general. She wrote this
> to us and said it would be ok to forward it to the mailing list.
>
> Cool!
>
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> i am reluctant to send all these thoughts in text because i feel as though
> text is often given more authority than spoken word. all of what's written
> below is relatively new thought for me and has developed through
> conversation with members of SAP and with friends for whom feminism may be
> more close to home, say. the last 3 points are what's on my mind right now,
> but the first is what i hope you all internalize regardless of what you
> think of my more specific suggestions.
>
> 1. there is no right way to do feminism. men looking for a right way to do
> it is pretty patriarchal! think of how there is no right way to be an
> anti-capitalist in capitalist society. it's pretty comparable. if you face
> barriers to getting work, you're fucked. if you have privilege that helps
> you get a job, there's no graceful way to avoid it.
> choosing not to work can seem privileged, getting a high paid job seems
> exploitative, and getting a shitty or underpaid job doesn't do anyone any
> good. similarly, men choosing not to do feminism is privileged and shitty,
> choosing to just go with the privilege they've got is shitty, and beating
> yourself up over the head for having male privilege doesn't help anyone
> either.
> add to that, ignoring complexity and assuming there are right and wrong
> ways to do things is part of how patriarchy functions.
>
> now, with all this in mind, consider my next points as suggestions from
> one feminist- to take them as concrete rule would be tokenizing and assume
> there is one feminism or one right way.
>
> 2. the idea of what constitutes "action" is patriarchal. doing the dishes,
> listening, learning, maintaining relationship, self-care, feeding yourself
> and others, etc etc etc are not considered action. what do these things
> have in common? women do them. what else? men (et all) would be fucked if
> no one did them. no fucking male "action" would be possible.
> with this in mind, a solidarity "action" group seems misguided.
>
> 3. to go off number 2, you all simply don't know enough to be doing
> "action". solidarity is about listening. another form of listening that
> does not rely on a woman teaching you would be - study! i am actually
> thinking you all need to know a lot more about feminism. for example, if
> one of you references second wave feminism or a feminist author who is
> super transphobic, others need to catch on! a nodding group of "feminists"
> that don't know enough to have formed their own opinions seems pretty sad
> to me. this said, i think the reading group is amazing! that's the kind of
> thing that i think male allies need to be doing (at least first).
> and honestly, seriously, i cannot state this enough- just fucking do the
> dishes more. listen to people who you perceive as women more. this doesn't
> mean every woman is the smartest or our opinions (on feminism particularly)
> are always "right" cause there isn't always a "right" anyway. and accept
> the fact that you are sometimes "wrong", you sometimes "lose" you sometimes
> make really silly decisions.
>
> like lecturing on feminism! i know that you weren't all involved in the
> workshop at the vic bookfair, and i know that those of you who were had the
> best intentions. that said, i don't see a time or place anywhere in the
> foreseeable future where that would be a good plan. i didn't know until
> after it happened (and i heard stories) that it was a lecture, i honestly
> thought y'all would be lightly facilitating a discussion on feminism (which
> i think could be okay if done carefully) but seriously the idea of men
> using academic language and standing up in front of a group to teach
> feminism? kinda makes me wanna puke/laugh. remember as you keep learning:
> learn for the sake of learning, of absorbing and hopefully acting on your
> new knowledge - DON'T learn feminism so that you can be the authority on
> it. what could be more patriarchal than that? let's consume the experiences
> of women so that we can spit them out for our own egos!
> anyway i think that's kind of an overstated thing, you've received a lot
> of flack on that one already so i'll leave it at that and say Success! you
> made a public mistake! that's great. soak it up and learn best ya can.
>
> 4. maybe it is time to take a step back and stop focusing on your role in
> feminism and just focus on feminism. there's a lot out there! from outside
> the group it seems like a huge amount of attention/energy/time has been
> spent on considering yourselves... hmm.
> i encourage you to learn learn learn. from my point of view and what i've
> heard, your most successful events (outside of the relative success that i
> would consider y'all just existing and talking about feminism regularly-
> inactive or uneventful as that might seem) have been the film screening (of
> Male Domination) and the book club (so far) - events that have been
> primarily learning environments for everyone involved, not events where you
> taught anyone else, or anyone else taught you.
>
> mostly i want to send you folks some encouragement to keep trying to
> practice feminism. you can call yourselves feminists and still fuck up
> sometimes or participate in patriarchy. to think you could avoid that would
> be naive.
> whether it's better to have a named group, or just work together to figure
> shit out is up to you. i do (personally) believe that group work is
> valuable in whatever form that takes.
> here's an embroidery patch to remind you!
>
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