[Smashpatriarchy] Thoughts on SAPS

[Sam Rudolph]

Hey folks, I'm spending time with a friend and we were talking about lots
of different things including SAP and feminism in general. She wrote this
to us and said it would be ok to forward it to the mailing list.

Cool!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
i am reluctant to send all these thoughts in text because i feel as though
text is often given more authority than spoken word. all of what's written
below is relatively new thought for me and has developed through
conversation with members of SAP and with friends for whom feminism may be
more close to home, say. the last 3 points are what's on my mind right now,
but the first is what i hope you all internalize regardless of what you
think of my more specific suggestions.

1. there is no right way to do feminism. men looking for a right way to do
it is pretty patriarchal! think of how there is no right way to be an
anti-capitalist in capitalist society. it's pretty comparable. if you face
barriers to getting work, you're fucked. if you have privilege that helps
you get a job, there's no graceful way to avoid it.
choosing not to work can seem privileged, getting a high paid job seems
exploitative, and getting a shitty or underpaid job doesn't do anyone any
good. similarly, men choosing not to do feminism is privileged and shitty,
choosing to just go with the privilege they've got is shitty, and beating
yourself up over the head for having male privilege doesn't help anyone
either.
add to that, ignoring complexity and assuming there are right and wrong
ways to do things is part of how patriarchy functions.

now, with all this in mind, consider my next points as suggestions from one
feminist- to take them as concrete rule would be tokenizing and assume
there is one feminism or one right way.

2. the idea of what constitutes "action" is patriarchal. doing the dishes,
listening, learning, maintaining relationship, self-care, feeding yourself
and others, etc etc etc are not considered action. what do these things
have in common? women do them. what else? men (et all) would be fucked if
no one did them. no fucking male "action" would be possible.
with this in mind, a solidarity "action" group seems misguided.

3. to go off number 2, you all simply don't know enough to be doing
"action". solidarity is about listening. another form of listening that
does not rely on a woman teaching you would be - study! i am actually
thinking you all need to know a lot more about feminism. for example, if
one of you references second wave feminism or a feminist author who is
super transphobic, others need to catch on! a nodding group of "feminists"
that don't know enough to have formed their own opinions seems pretty sad
to me. this said, i think the reading group is amazing! that's the kind of
thing that i think male allies need to be doing (at least first).
and honestly, seriously, i cannot state this enough- just fucking do the
dishes more. listen to people who you perceive as women more. this doesn't
mean every woman is the smartest or our opinions (on feminism particularly)
are always "right" cause there isn't always a "right" anyway. and accept
the fact that you are sometimes "wrong", you sometimes "lose" you sometimes
make really silly decisions.

like lecturing on feminism! i know that you weren't all involved in the
workshop at the vic bookfair, and i know that those of you who were had the
best intentions. that said, i don't see a time or place anywhere in the
foreseeable future where that would be a good plan. i didn't know until
after it happened (and i heard stories) that it was a lecture, i honestly
thought y'all would be lightly facilitating a discussion on feminism (which
i think could be okay if done carefully) but seriously the idea of men
using academic language and standing up in front of a group to teach
feminism? kinda makes me wanna puke/laugh. remember as you keep learning:
learn for the sake of learning, of absorbing and hopefully acting on your
new knowledge - DON'T learn feminism so that you can be the authority on
it. what could be more patriarchal than that? let's consume the experiences
of women so that we can spit them out for our own egos!
anyway i think that's kind of an overstated thing, you've received a lot of
flack on that one already so i'll leave it at that and say Success! you
made a public mistake! that's great. soak it up and learn best ya can.

4. maybe it is time to take a step back and stop focusing on your role in
feminism and just focus on feminism. there's a lot out there! from outside
the group it seems like a huge amount of attention/energy/time has been
spent on considering yourselves... hmm.
i encourage you to learn learn learn. from my point of view and what i've
heard, your most successful events (outside of the relative success that i
would consider y'all just existing and talking about feminism regularly-
inactive or uneventful as that might seem) have been the film screening (of
Male Domination) and the book club (so far) - events that have been
primarily learning environments for everyone involved, not events where you
taught anyone else, or anyone else taught you.

mostly i want to send you folks some encouragement to keep trying to
practice feminism. you can call yourselves feminists and still fuck up
sometimes or participate in patriarchy. to think you could avoid that would
be naive.
whether it's better to have a named group, or just work together to figure
shit out is up to you. i do (personally) believe that group work is
valuable in whatever form that takes.
here's an embroidery patch to remind you!
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