[Smashpatriarchy] Message from Allison

[xmanlives]

If men never speak to other men about this, some men will never listen. If all the feminists anyone ever sees are women then it's easy for it to be 'us against them'. We moderate what and how we speak, not the fact that we can.

X

On 2013-09-20, at 10:29 AM, Peter Gill wrote:

> I’m gonna start this with a caveat, cause there are folks in Solidarity Against Patriarchy i’ve got a lot of respect for, and i believe the group’s intentions come from a well-meaning place. As well, in relation to the whole MRA ordeal last summer, the formation of a feminist-allied group of (mostly) men did seem to make sense, and i still appreciate the “Don’t be a creep!” poster campaign y’alldid.
> 
> However, despite my initial support, a year later I’ve come to see SAP as problematic, if not outright patriarchal. I’m realizing that “men educating men” reinforces the idea that men are authority figures - even in the realm of women’s lib. I can now see how this kind of (public) organizing cedes more space to men, making their experiences, interests & concerns the focal point of women’s struggles against male-centric environments. I am concerned that SAP may be a kind of “safe space” for participants to avoid having their privileges challenged, and opinions deprioritized by women. Seeing that solidarity is never a given, I also worry that this kind of organizing enables men to claim “feminist cred” while still going about their daily lives treating women as their inferiors, never learning to listen to their experiences. (Albeit, I will admit, this is not a problem limited to this kind of organizing; there are plenty of doods who organize -with- women and still act like know-it-all shits) 
> 
> I’m not saying this because I want y’all to go out & find some women to tokenize & take orders from (myself included in that). I’m saying this because I was openly in support of the group when it first began, despite many women’s concerns, and now feel it’s my responsibility to publicly clarify that I am no longer in favor of this kind of organizing. I think it’s been an interesting journey, and there are certainly some lovely things that have come out of SAP. For me though, the problems are outweighing the positives, and I can no longer give a thumbs-up on publicly organizing as "mostly" men around feminism.
> 
> I realize what I’m saying may hurt feelings here, cause y’all have been invested in this project for some time now, taking risks, experimenting & all, but y’know – a year ago I was asked what I thought about men organizing like this, and although my opinion hasn’t been solicited... well, here it is! 
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