[Shadow_Group] Intercepted Letter From Bush to Saddam!!!

Wed Jan 12 11:35:40 PST 2005

Intercepted Letter From Bush to Saddam!!!

http://207.44.245.159/article7658.htm

From: George.W.Bush at whitehouse.gov 

Sent: Wednesday, January 10, 2005 4:49 PM 
To: Saddam.Hussein at undisclosed-location.gov  
Subject: Welcome Back  

Howdy, partner, it's your old friend George W. here in
Washington , D.C. 

I thought I would write with the hope of learning you
are being treated well in your undisclosed location. I
see you have a new haircut and are getting a bit
grayer; so am I. 

Sorry about the Uday and Qusay misunderstanding. Like
they said in The Godfather  (which I know is your
favorite movie), "it's business, not personal." I hope
both your sons made it to paradise and found their 72
virgins. As a devoted father, you have to be happy
about that! Perhaps they’ll find multiple wives and
settle down in paradise, and "I hope their first child
is a masculine child." 

It was a good year for me. You'll be quite proud to
hear that I managed to steal another election! My
brother, Jeb, came through once again in Florida , and
Diebold rigged the Ohio  vote count. 

Kerry would have driven you crazy with his
flip-flopping, and his wife is a "major league" pain
in the butt - "big time".  

Can you imagine dealing with Kerry?  "Saddam, you were
with us before you were against us.” And his wife
might just tell you to go "shove it".   

You're lucky you didn't have to deal with all this
election nonsense when you were in power in Iraq. 
Your treachery and deception were pure, and you didn't
have that idiot Michael Moore chasing you around,
getting these morons all riled up and making a fortune
doing it. You would have thrown the dope into Abu
Ghraib. Hmm, now there's a thought… 

Pretty cool, though, what we did at Abu Ghraib, huh? 
I bet you're disappointed your sons missed the fun
with the red panties, whips, chains, dog leashes and
hoods. That Lyndie England is one mean chick; bet
she'd have made a perfect mate for your son, Uday, but
I doubt she was a virgin. Oh, well, c'est la guerre.  

Anyway, I know it's short notice, but I’m writing to
invite you to my inauguration on January 20th. Do you
think you can make it? Please come; you can even ride
with Laura and me in the presidential limousine as we
travel down Pennsylvania Ave.  You can also stand
beside us while I take my oath of office. 

I must warn you that there may be demonstrations, but
you were great at putting them down in Iraq; perhaps
you can give me some ideas? If you have any WMDs left
over from the ones we supplied you in the ‘80s, can
you bring some along? 

Great party afterwards! The usual $250,000 fee – well,
it's on me! 

Hope you will accept my sincere invitation and that we
can be friends again, just like we were in the 1980s. 

However, I have just one small favor to ask: 

Please, I beg you, take your damn country back, and
get me the hell out of this mess! 

On January 30th, those crazy Shia are likely to elect
an "Ayatollah" allied with Iran . I don't have enough
time to make my brother Jeb the Governor of Iraq so he
can fix the election, and Diebold machines only work
with electricity. (Billions of dollars, and those
Halliburton idiots can't get the lights to work, or
even screw in a light bulb, for that matter.) I'm
desperate and I know now, like in the movie, I can
only come to you for justice, Godfather – I mean,
"Allah-Father”. 

These whiny liberals here are going to crucify me. By
January 30th, nearly 1,400 Americans will be dead and
over 10,000 wounded, so we can legitimately elect a
government aligned with Iran  and will possess the
largest combined oil reserves in the world. You can't
make this stuff up, Saddam, my dear friend. 

All my lies, all the deception, all the money and
blood wasted, just so we can have in power an Islamic
theocracy that hates us even more than you hated us.
We were together, fighting precisely this phenomenon,
when we supplied you with the WMDs to defeat Islamic
fundamentalism in the ‘80s, only to destroy the WMDs
in the ‘90s, so the radical Islamics can now be
elected legitimately in 2005. Now there's a flip-flop
that would confuse even John Kerry. 

Saddam, my friend, we cannot allow this to happen: we
owe it to the good folks of "liberated" and "pacified"
Fallujah. 

Therefore, I have signed a decree that releases you
immediately from prison, grants full amnesty and
bestows honorary US citizenship on you as well. Ditto
for the members of the Republican Guard. (I must admit
I always did love the name Republican Guard; sounds
much tougher than Democrat Guard). 

Speaking of the Guard, I've instructed our National
Guard troops stationed in Iraq to erect a new statue
of you in Fardus Square, bigger and better than the
one that they (not the Iraqi people) toppled in 2003.
Problem is our National Guard troops are so old,
paunchy and battle-weary that they may not be up to
the task. Do you think we can borrow a few of your
"remnants" to do some heavy lifting?  

I've instructed Karl Rove to be your campaign manager,
so together we can steal the January 30th Iraqi
elections, get you back in power and get me the hell
out of this mess. My "brain" Karl  has already begun
to work and has come up with some creative slogans for
your campaign. Check these out and let me know what
you think: 

"Saddam Hussein: Four More Decades" 

"Tyranny Beats Anarchy" 

"Yes to Fears, No to Queers" 

"Vote Baath or Get Hosed " 

"Marriage is Between a Man and a Woman... or a Goat" 

"Shias will Export Jobs to Iran " 

"OJ Killed More Americans than I Did on 9/11" 

and my personal favorite 

"Are You Better off Today Than You Were Four Years
Ago?" 

Saddam, hopefully you will accept my invitation to the
inauguration. I know we can be friends again, just
like we were when Don Rumsfeld paid you a visit back 
in 1983. I’m sure you will be busy with the campaign,
so I do understand if you can’t attend. Perhaps we'll
see you at Camp David in the spring? 

The campaign will be tough, "but when the going gets
tough, the tough get going." So get going, and welcome
back, Saddam!

Jerry Ghinelli feedback at jerryghinelli.com or
visit http://www.jerryghinelli.com 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++STOP THE WALL++++++++++++++++++++++++++

www.stopthewall.org www.nad-plo.org www.hrw.org www.pal-arc.org www.endtheoccupation.org www.sustaincampaign.org

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