[Shadow_Group] An open letter to the Red-State victors:

[shadowgroup-l at lists.resist.ca]

An open letter to the Red-State victors:

With hard work and superb  organization, you have triumphed over John Kerry 
and the forces of Blue-state  paternalism. Congratulations. The multinational 
corporations that hold you in  bondage remain free to profit off your sweat 
nearly tax free, while their  overpaid senior execs continue to pay a pittance in 
personal income  tax.

Your primary  and secondary schools will continue to turn out third-rate 
pupils with limited  opportunities, while you enjoy the satisfaction of making it 
on your own without  health care when a catastrophic illness bankrupts your 
family.

Your  agricultural universities will continue issuing Ph.D.s in football, and 
bogus  Protestant Evangelical and Fundamentalist theology, and how to jerk 
off a bull  safely. Your children will learn to borrow enough money to erect 
chicken houses  so that they, like you, can take custody -- not possession, but 
custody -- of  Tyson's chicks, feed them, rear them, assume losses from those 
that fail to  thrive, and in the end earn just enough money to service their 
endless debt, and  realize a profit of perhaps $12K a year. Your bank thanks 
you; Tyson thanks you;  George W. Bush thanks you; and I thank you.

You can continue sending your  sons to die in Iraq on a fool's errand. When 
you bury them, you can console  yourselves with Bush's platitudes about their 
heroic mission to defend America  from weapons of mass destruction.

You can savor the deficit spending that  stimulates commerce today, but will 
cripple the US economy in ten or fifteen  years' time when the bills come due 
with interest. Perhaps a Democrat will be in  office at that time, who can be 
blamed for W's delayed economic  fiasco.

You can continue believing, as Republican Party brainwashing has  persuaded 
you, that we, your neighbors, are your enemies. You can believe that  we have 
no morals; that we pimp out our teenage daughters for Internet porn;  that we 
eat babies; that we are all gay; that we are cowards on the battlefield;  and 
that we want to run your lives and give you AIDS.

Here's a clue: we  are not your enemies; we are your countrymen. Your enemies 
are the greedy  multinationals that the Republican Party bends over backwards 
to accommodate.  Incidentally, most of them are based in Blue states, as are 
their Republican  owners and major shareholders.

Here in the Blue States, Democrats and  Republicans alike generate the lion's 
share of America's wealth, although it is  you Reds who provide the lion's 
share of the stoop labor. You are our Mexicans,  so to speak. We could not have 
accomplished the economic miracle that is America  without your willing 
capitulation to a system that lies to you and fucks you  over at every turn.

Look at economic output and educational achievement  on a state-by-state 
basis: it's painfully evident that we Blues are immensely  more productive and 
better educated than you Reds. We have lots more money. We  live longer. We eat 
better. We work less. We fuck more. We do cocaine and smoke  fine Canadian 
buds, not the homebrew crank and cheap Mexican headache reefer you  guys are stuck 
with. We drink French wine and Stoli martinis, not Budweiser. Our  children 
rarely bother us: we've got them on Ritalin and Prozac. Our teeth are  
straighter and whiter, our necks longer, and our fingernails cleaner. And many  of us 
are the Republican elite who have just punked you.

It's good to be  a Blue, regardless of which party you join.

Understandably, you resent  us, so you've fabricated an imaginary measure of 
superiority: Christian  "values." Yet you talk about values the way a pre-teen 
girl talks about "love"  in fan letters to Ashton Kutcher. You recycle 
quasi-religious platitudes and  received slogans. You know nothing of moral 
theology, a rigorous philosophical  pursuit that hardly exists outside the Catholic 
Church and its elite  universities. You make of the Bible what you will; you 
attend prayer meetings  with other semi-literates, where you reinforce each 
other's sloppy  understandings of the text, and combine them with half-digested 
bits of  old-timey Hallmark-card "wisdom." And when you spout gibberish, you call 
it  "speaking in tongues." You actually fancy that you're saints, you silly,  
narcissistic creatures.

Nevertheless, you are fellow Americans. The Blue  Republican elite encouraged 
you to vote for George W Bush, because they quite  simply own him, and they 
know that his administration will make policies that  help them, even if hurt 
you. We Blue Democrats voted for John Kerry because we  believed he would 
minister to your needs better than Bush. A President Kerry  would have shared some 
of our wealth with you, assured your health care, raised  the minimum wage, 
and checked the rapacious greed of the multinationals that  hold you in thrall.

President Kerry would have helped us to help you,  which is all that we ask. 
It pains us to see you in wage slavery. It pains us to  see you so ignorant 
and uneducated, and so eager to place yourselves in bondage.  Yes, we live 
better; but we wish you to live better too, even if it means  sacrifice on our part.

What we wanted for you would have been far better  than that which you, in 
your ignorant pride, demanded for yourselves. Oh, you  defeated us all right, 
but only to your detriment.

We Blues will come out  of the Bush era no worse for wear, although you Reds 
will come out very much  diminished, deeper in debt, and less able to improve 
your circumstances by your  own powers. But because you wish to be flattered 
more than helped, you will be  grateful for your ass fucking from the 
Blue-state Republican elite that is  laughing behind your backs today.

We did not wish it so. We honestly did  want to help.

On 2 November, you thanked us by electing a shrewd,  manipulative handmaiden 
to corporate America who panders to you while ruthlessly  exploiting your 
ignorance and weakness for the benefit of his patrons in the  national plutocracy. 
There is nothing we can do about that. You won fair and  square.

We should let you rot. We should secede and leave you to fend for  
yourselves. Then you will see firsthand just how dependent you are. We are sick  of 
fighting for you by fighting against you. Perhaps, when you see  how dreary your 
lives have become without us, you will finally develop the spine  to fight for 
your basic, human rights. And then we will gladly confront the  plutocracy 
alongside you. We need your help to defeat the Blue Republicans, who,  I assure 
you, are just as decadent as we are, though often richer.

But  until you finally learn to respect yourselves, we can't respect you, and 
we  therefore can't be bothered to give a rat's ass about you.

So let us  secede, Blue America and Red America. We can handle the Blue state 
Republicans,  so long as we don't have a lot of ignorant Red state lemmings 
frustrating our  efforts and screwing themselves in the bargain. Secession will 
enable us both to  live as we have chosen without the other's interference. 
We will prosper, and  you will get a clue.

But do stay in touch after the borders slam shut.  When you finally tire of 
living on the modern, corporate plantations of Cargill,  Tyson, ConAgra and 
Smithfield; when you tire of shopping at Wal-Mart and sending  your daughters to 
sling hash at Denny's in hopes that they'll meet the nicer  sort of truck 
driver; when you tire of sneaking into Blue America as illegal  white-trash 
wetbacks eager for casual work dusting our parlors; and when, like  men, you finally 
rise up in rebellion against this immoral usury -- then, and  only then, let 
us talk.

We'll gladly get your backs. But first you must  grow the brains and the 
balls needed to profit from our help.  ®

Author unknown






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