[Careforsailor] updates about care calender & listserve plus a few other important things when offering support

Sun Aug 31 20:31:33 PDT 2014

hey all,

i received a separate email from this (2 separate emails, actually) about
whether it would make sense to transition into a care collective. i feel
weird about not participating in this thread, since it's going to everyone,
and i think it's important that everyone's in this conversation who wants
to be. i'm also feeling a little at capacity with writing about this on
three different threads. so rather than writing a new email, i'm just going
to paste an email i sent to a smaller group of folks, which was in response
to questions about how the listserve is feeling and whether transitioning
into a care collective (a more central organizing crew) would make sense
and how dong so could address some of the glitches that are coming up in
the current listserve/calendar system. my answers don't fit the 1-2-3
model. but i think i've addressed the questions.

lots of love and so much gratitude to everyone who's supporting this
process <3 <3 <3 <3

huge ditto to syndney's remark about the dynamic of people with
disabilities/chronic illnesses taking on the brunt of caretaking for other
people with disabilities/chronic illnesses. this has been really, really
hard. (to be clear, writing this as a chronically ill humyn being)

k pasting email:

"
hey,

i really really support transitioning into a care collective / more
intentional structure. been hearing over and over for a long time now from
a distressed-sounding sailor that support things aren't working, needs
aren't getting met. which was hard b/c i couldn't possibly do any more than
i was already doing. i think it makes a lot of sense for those of us
providing support to be meeting or communicating regularly with each other
about how things are going and what needs to be done and who can take on
what, so less falls on sailor, and so we're not burning ourselves out. to
me, the listserve was feeling a little bit like shouting out extremely
important / pressing shit to outerspace and not being sure if anyone was
listening. (i mean this w/ no disrespect to cassie who put so much into
getting this going, and thank you, it's been an improvement from no
listserve, and a learning process, and i think w/ what we know now, we can
do better!). i think the idea of having several folks in regular
communication (weekly or bi weekly, as sves suggested, depending on ppls
capacity) would make a lotta sense & help smooth out some of the glitches
and make things less likely to slip thru cracks and hopefully make things
more sustainable for all of us and bring folks onto the same page and
ultimately just make shit work better for sailor. i'm super tired right
now, it's 2am over here, pls bear with my run ons and rambles <3 oof.

i need to give some thought to how much / in what capacity i can
participate in the organizing end of this, given that i'm waaay the fuck
over here. [moved back to the 'states'] and not sure it makes sense for me
(at such a distance) to be in a major organizing role. not sure it doesn't
make sense, just need to give it some thought. there are tasks from here i
can do, things i can help out with. like typing emails or doing things that
don't require me to be there in person, and like regularly calling & seeing
how sailor's doing & sending them silly things to remind them they are
loved, but those things are diff than organizing. hm.

also, i literally just moved away / broke up w/ sailor (we are on totes
good terms, we both knew this was coming for a long long time) and my heart
has some mending and major adjusting to do and i'm not sure how close to
all this i can be right now. or maybe i'm just in a thicker wave of sadness
right now. anyway, really want this care system to work well for sailor b/c
they really deserve that. i'm not dropping off, just need to listen to
heart and capacity. and might need a little distance from this to take care
of myself. not saying all this to turn this into a personal therapy
session, but do feel it's appropriate to share stuff that affects my
capacity & relationship to organizing around this. hope all that makes
sense.

love from far away lands,

anna gayley"

On Sun, Aug 31, 2014 at 3:15 PM, lee <contactmedlee at gmail.com> wrote:

> Hey all,
>
> Thanks for these great messages.
>
> Apologies for delayed and lack of response. My availability and capacity
> has been incredibly limited as I've been moving through some health stuff
> myself, and I suspect with the addition of a new job my capacity will
> continue to be limited. I am happy to stay on the list and will offer help
> as I can, and also my silence or lack of response is not due to lack of
> desire to be present or of help. I am finding the reaching out and coming
> together of folks to share care and support really heartening and
> encouraging, and admittedly find this very challenging to participate in
> when I'm not feeling well. This is beautiful and important work, and I'm
> constantly struck/challenged/hurt by how many folks are dealing with not
> having adequate community and support in their/our lives, and how much work
> it is to create that community/support while also living with and moving
> through varying health experiences/disabilities. So much gratitude for the
> many folks showing up and trying to figure out how to show up more.
>
> Here's my answer to questions:
>
> 1. availability: occasional/once-in-a-while at the moment, with a
> commitment to do more when I can.
>
> 2. not sure i know about what areas or if i should be down for any
> particular area.
>
> 3. i have been on the care calendar a few times, and actually don't find
> it super intuitive to use. perhaps i just haven't spent enough time on it.
> i think the emails currently being sent around are great, and also, i know
> emails can get overwhelming (at least they do for me).
>
> much warmth,
>
>
> lee
>
>
>
>
> On Wed, Aug 27, 2014 at 3:00 PM, s yeung <artsves at gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> hey sydney,
>>
>> i think sending updates and keeping each other informed about what is
>> happening is a good idea! at least it makes visible the things that we are
>> doing in terms of supporting sailor and what's happening. it's good to know
>> that you are visiting sailor because i don't think i knew that if you
>> didn't send this email about the work you're doing..it was good to hear
>> from anna too...
>>
>> for the care calender, I'm probably not going to use it at them moment
>> because I don't have internet at my house to check it regularly, but i
>> think the listserve will be fine in updates? right now i'm staying at
>> sailor's house so i have been helping out with cleaning and prepping food
>> but that will change when i am not staying there anymore. I will be helping
>> out in different ways (more project based tasks) though and be using the
>> listserve to communicate updates etc.
>>
>> I have a driver's license but i don't have a car. one day some day a list
>> of people with cars could be compiled or something....
>>
>> sves
>>
>>
>> On Tue, Aug 26, 2014 at 10:39 PM, Sydney Neuman <srneuman at gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> Hey all!
>>>
>>> I can't figure out how to add tasks/record ones that aren't already
>>> listed on the caring bridge calendar. Since I work Sundays, I typically
>>> schedule something with Sailor during the week, but I'm not sure how to
>>> make the calendar reflect that. Anyone? Also, is it easier for you, Sves,
>>> and/or others if we just send out updates with each of the things we're
>>> doing and when on the listserv? I'd also like to have a better idea of
>>> what's being done and what's slipping through the cracks. I like the idea
>>> of the calendar, since it's a pretty straight forward way of looking at
>>> what each week looks like, what's being done, what's not being done etc. I
>>> like the idea of something super clear and all in one place to reference.
>>> Since schedules, bodies, etc. can be kind of erratic (mine are, at least),
>>> it'd be nice to know when things are pretty good one week so I can feel
>>> better taking some time to deal with my own stuff and when I need to take a
>>> harder look at my schedule to figure something out.
>>>
>>> I was also wondering about car stuff. I can't drive, but I've seen
>>> requests going out about car related things. Is/are there someone/some
>>> folks helping out with that? If not, that seems like a pretty big hole. Are
>>> there people on the list that have/are able in the future to do car things?
>>>
>>> Also, I'm going to be at Sailor's tomorrow at 4pm to help with
>>> organizing stuff in their room to help make the room change smoother.
>>>
>>> -Sydney
>>>
>>>
>>> On Tue, Aug 26, 2014 at 3:11 PM, s yeung <artsves at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>>  I'll fill in my portion of things
>>>>
>>>> What I have been doing lately:
>>>> I have been infrequently going over to sailors to help wash dishes and
>>>> make food. Since my schedule changes frequently because I do a lot of
>>>> contract on call teaching work, I can't confirm a consistent schedule. I
>>>> would like to though but I need a sense of structure in order for me to
>>>> help out with things. The reason in sending out the previous email was to
>>>> start making some structure for the list serve/care calendar in relation to
>>>> sailor's current needs. So right now I am trying to figure out who is
>>>> involved besides anna, Cassie, earyn, and Sydney. Sorry if I missed someone
>>>> for helping out but once again I am not exactly too sure who is actively
>>>> helping out right now.
>>>>
>>>> 1) ideally I would either like to help weekly/biweekly but it also
>>>> doesn't have to be time structured, I can work on projects like right now I
>>>> am working on trying to get sailors room painted. It depends on my schedule
>>>> but I have the capacity to do one to two tasks a week.
>>>> 2) I can help out with disability formsq and painting room and moving
>>>> into room project. I also have capacity to get things organize ☺- to
>>>> contact people directly to get involved, to create some sort of general
>>>> system
>>>> 3)currently the care calendar doesn't really work for me because I
>>>> don't have internet at home so I don't go on the internet often enough to
>>>> check it. I have focused my energy on non-care calendar related things
>>>> since it is hard for me to see updates / use the care calendar
>>>>
>>>> I feel pretty isolated in communicating with others about things, like
>>>> knowing if someone has offered a car for groceries and many things are
>>>> falling through the cracks, and there's a lot of things to do and organize.
>>>> I hope this message thread will be helpful in figuring out what needs to
>>>> happen
>>>>
>>>> Sves
>>>>
>>>> Sves
>>>>
>>>> On Aug 25, 2014 10:35 PM, "s yeung" <artsves at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> >
>>>> > hi everyone who is on this list!
>>>> >
>>>> > so i talked to sailor and the care calender and listserve is not
>>>> working for them. this week there hasn't been anyone to offer to help them
>>>> with food prep, cleaning dishes or any of the other things that is on their
>>>> to-do list.
>>>> >
>>>> > from what i know the things that are important at the moment is :
>>>> >
>>>> > 1- food prep and making food to make sure that sailor eats
>>>> > 2 - disability form filling out  + tax related work
>>>> > 3 - painting their room and moving into their new room before sept
>>>> 1st (in a week!)
>>>> >
>>>> > Another thing that is very important is to call sailor and check in
>>>> with them. give them a call, say hi, talk about your day, or your dog. it's
>>>> very important to call sailor because they are feeling very isolated. if
>>>> you only have the capacity to say HI and to check in, please include in
>>>> questionaire below!
>>>> >
>>>> > their number is 604 930 0580. it doesn't have an answering machine
>>>> and often it might take sailor a while to pick up, so let it ring for a
>>>> bit.
>>>> >
>>>> > so how can we make the listserve and calender work for those
>>>> interested. there was a lot of work and emotional labour (by sailor and
>>>> cassie!) put into this system to support sailor and it's not working. so
>>>> how do we make it work? what do people need? are you confused about how
>>>> things are working? if you are finding that you have too much on your plate
>>>> or whatever, you can be taken off the list.
>>>> >
>>>> > so first off
>>>> >
>>>> > Please answer questions below!
>>>> >
>>>> > 1 - what is your availiability in helping out (frequently
>>>> (weekly/daily), semi-frequently (bi-weekly) or rarely (monthly or once in a
>>>> while)?
>>>> > 2 - what areas do you want to be a person to be a contact of? you can
>>>> choose all three (food prep, taxes /disability , room/moving) or choose one
>>>> or whatever
>>>> > 3 -  do you have ideas to help get the care calender and listserve
>>>> started?
>>>> >
>>>> > If you can, please respond "reply all" so that everyone on this list
>>>> can read it. I think it's important for us on this listserve to start
>>>> connecting and communicating with each other if we want to set up a system
>>>> that is sustainable to fulfill sailor's needs.
>>>> >
>>>> > so i was thinking that those of us who are interested in supporting
>>>> sailor right away is that we could meet up and talk about things together,
>>>> or at least make a conversation where we can talk to each other to know
>>>> what is happening. like make some sort of collective or something like
>>>> that.......
>>>> >
>>>> > sves
>>>> > if you wanna talk not on email, give me a call at 778 838 6348
>>>> >
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>> Careforsailor at lists.resist.ca
>>>> https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/careforsailor
>>>>
>>>>
>>>
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>>>
>>
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>
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