[Blacklabcollective] Complaint about Daryl

Sat Sep 17 16:23:14 PDT 2016

Jill actually said that he is at his best at shows and being part of
something is definitely helping him not go down a further spiral of
depression

On Saturday, 17 September 2016, Eris Nyx <erisnyx at hotmail.ca> wrote:

> Again, just given the scenario, I don't really think any of this warrants
> kicking him off the collective. Is he a dick? Yes. However, he is also
> putting work in and running shows that no one wants to do that make us $$.
> If he becomes problematic, I advise we talk to him about it and try working
> through stuff with him instead of being shits. Let's keep him as a bottom
> liner and see where that goes? Maybe running community events might
> actually help his mental health?
> -E
>
> ------------------------------
> *From:* Blacklabcollective <blacklabcollective-bounces at lists.resist.ca
> <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','blacklabcollective-bounces at lists.resist.ca');>>
> on behalf of Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com
> <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','aanjusingh at gmail.com');>>
> *Sent:* September 16, 2016 5:14 PM
> *To:* blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca
> <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca');>
> *Subject:* Re: [Blacklabcollective] Complaint about Daryl
>
> Bahahaha get over it Mick ;)
>
> FYI - info from Jill, this went to Kate. Kate also believes that Daryl
> made Jill quit want
>
> Here is my update -
>
> I just spoke with Jill.
>
> I asked her about her relationship with Daryl. They are friends. She feels
> that he can be mean and she has needed courage to talk to him about being a
> dick. She was also going to bring up the negativity. After our conversation
> she has decided to talk to him about this, she is bringing my name into it
> for support and strength. I ok'd this. She says he is really depressed. Her
> and Carson believe that the person Daryl posts a threat to is himself.  He
> is very depressed and battles with suicidal thoughts. She also thinks
> taking space away from him is a good idea and she intends to take that
> space after their conversation. She is encouraging that he get counselling.
>
> At the end of the conversation, she agreed to research emotional abuse and
> consider how she is being treated, she acknowledged that he is sometimes an
> angry and shitty friend, but she doesn't feel manipulated by him.
>
> She is in another band without Daryl. He is supportive of her being in the
> band. When I suggested that he might be possessive, she didn't agree.
>
> Her reasons for leaving WANT are entirely related to how she feels she was
> treated by the band, which she said was badly. She did not think badly of
> anyone because of what anyone said about people in the band, but rather
> because of the band members specific actions. She didn't agree with some of
> the bands political stances and didn't feel that she was heard. She felt
> disrespected.
> ----
>
> On Friday, 16 September 2016, mick mccann <nomoreroads at gmail.com
> <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','nomoreroads at gmail.com');>> wrote:
>
>> You bully me Anju. Time for me to call you on your hate!
>>
>> Sent from my iPhone
>>
>> On Sep 16, 2016, at 4:30 PM, Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> I'm ok with whatever decision you all make! I think he does pick up lots
>> of slack. If he ever gets agro around me I'll call him out but I do that
>> with anyone else so it's nothing new for me.
>>
>> On Friday, 16 September 2016, mick mccann <nomoreroads at gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>> I think Tara had some solid points. We don't always have to love
>>> everyone we work with at all times. And if I've ever annoyed any of ye let
>>> me know :). And I'm not saying I like his attitude or shit he's done at
>>> all. as I've probably been around him more than anyone of us.  But unless
>>> it gets out of hand then maybe just keep it as is but be aware incase
>>> future things arise?
>>>
>>> I think they have picked up slack where we haven't been able to of late
>>> and if Daryl isn't a bottom liner either will jill more than likely.
>>>
>>> Sent from my iPhone
>>>
>>> On Sep 16, 2016, at 4:12 PM, tara myketiak <taramyketiak at gmail.com>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>> Yeah, I absolutely second everything Eris said.
>>> In terms of dropping him as a bottomliner because of his
>>> moodiness/jerkiness, I don't think we should at this point.  On the one
>>> hand, its going to be perceived as linked to this drama now whether we want
>>> it to be or not, and two, We're not doing enough shows, we're not making
>>> enough money, and Darryl and Jill pick up a lot of the slack that we're all
>>> collectively dropping. Unless his moodiness gets out of control or comes to
>>> a point where people don't want to come to shows because of him I don't
>>> think it merits action. Whether we get along with him enough to keep
>>> wanting to work with him or have him peripherally involved in the
>>> collective is something I can't personally speak to yet because I haven't
>>> hung out with the dude that much. So Idk.
>>> Also, I'm kind of outraged at the initial message sent by Kate.  Who do
>>> people think we are?? The drama mediators/police? Why is this city so
>>> fucking annoying right now!!!!!!
>>> Love you all though, for real.
>>> tara
>>>
>>> On Fri, Sep 16, 2016 at 3:21 PM, Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> I am talking to Jill at 4:30 today.
>>>>
>>>> I also told Kate that she has to deal with the shit talk herself.
>>>>
>>>> My main reason for suggesting that we remove Daryl as a bottomliner is
>>>> more related to his moodiness and anger that the collective might not want
>>>> to deal with.
>>>>
>>>> Personally, I had no intentions of dropping him as a friend. I honestly
>>>> just don't want to be involved.
>>>>
>>>> It's up to you all, I just made a suggestion.
>>>>
>>>> Anju
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> On Friday, 16 September 2016, Eris Nyx <erisnyx at hotmail.ca> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> Wow, this email blew my mind.
>>>>>
>>>>> I don't think it's our responsibility to do anything at this point tbh.
>>>>>
>>>>> It seems to me that people are mad at him for talking shit about their
>>>>> band and are trying to get revenge. I think that seems a bit absurd.
>>>>> Personally, I think both WANT and Black Pills are not very good - should I
>>>>> be banned for not having team spirit?
>>>>>
>>>>> Furthermore, if Jill doesn't feel like she's being abused why should
>>>>> we believe someone's outside perspective on their relationship over the
>>>>> people in the relationship? I think someone should at least talk to her
>>>>> about what happened before we do anything. And if we're going to do
>>>>> something we should probably try working with him before we ban him (we
>>>>> don't do that remember).
>>>>>
>>>>> Also, people are mad at him for his band being named HARM? Do you know
>>>>> how absurd that is? If we're going to police band names that hard we
>>>>> shouldn't allow half the people who play our space to play there.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Can't wait for my $50 000 record contract to come in so I can invest
>>>>> in a space program and build a venue on the surface of the sun.
>>>>>
>>>>> (The last sentence was a joke).
>>>>>
>>>>> Ugh.
>>>>> -Eris
>>>>>
>>>>> ------------------------------
>>>>> *From:* Blacklabcollective <blacklabcollective-bounces at lists.resist.ca>
>>>>> on behalf of Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com>
>>>>> *Sent:* September 16, 2016 2:40 PM
>>>>> *To:* blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca
>>>>> *Subject:* Re: [Blacklabcollective] Complaint about Daryl
>>>>>
>>>>> Thanks for your comment, how do you feel about the suggestion I made
>>>>> in the email as an action?
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> "For now, I don't think Daryl should bottomline any shows beyond what
>>>>> he has been assigned to. I've heard he's quite moody, dramatic and can be a
>>>>> dick. That said most people who say this don't think he's abusive, but
>>>>> rather just a really negative person. To stay on the safe side, I think we
>>>>> should drop him as a bottomliner?"
>>>>> bd
>>>>> Anju
>>>>>
>>>>> On Friday, 16 September 2016, mick mccann <nomoreroads at gmail.com>
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> Thanks and I'm sorry you had to be the one to have to hear the
>>>>>> complaint. I personally do find him negative and never has a good thing to
>>>>>> say about anyone but do think Jill is great. I already spoke to him last wk
>>>>>> about him insulting people i care about infront of me.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> But again this is just my personal opinion and should not have to
>>>>>> affect the black lab or members. I have heard from others that he is
>>>>>> somewhat possessive From others but unless Jill tells me Im not sure what
>>>>>> do to as I don't want to feel like making decisions without her if that
>>>>>> makes sense.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> its def annoying and hard to deal with everyone in the scenes
>>>>>> problems. Unless someone feels unsafe in the venue of course. Kate is one
>>>>>> of my best friends so I'm trying to remove my ego and bias from the
>>>>>> situation.
>>>>>> Tonight will be great! And I'm sorry ye all have to be involved in
>>>>>> everything that happens in the Vancouver punk.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Sent from my iPhone
>>>>>>
>>>>>> > On Sep 16, 2016, at 1:39 PM, Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com>
>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > Heads up that we received a complaint about Daryl being emotionally
>>>>>> abusive to Jill and being an asshole. Also the same person expressed
>>>>>> concern with their band name - Harm and the concept of talking about
>>>>>> self-harm which is triggering.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > The person who sent the concern sent it to me and Lindsay, and it
>>>>>> was sent by Kate from Want.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > Kate has two concerns:
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > "-he's an asshole who's talking shit about me [Kate], my partner
>>>>>> [Andrew from black pills], and my band [WANT]
>>>>>> > -he's a legit abuser and Jill is his victim"
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > Jill doesn't feel like a victim but I'm hoping to talk to her in
>>>>>> person to feel the situation out better.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > For now, I don't think Daryl should bottomline any shows beyond
>>>>>> what he has been assigned to. I've heard he's quite moody, dramatic and can
>>>>>> be a dick. That said most people who say this don't think he's abusive, but
>>>>>> rather just a really negative person. To stay on the safe side, I think we
>>>>>> should drop him as a bottomliner?
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > I also am fucking flabbergasted that people can't talk to eachother
>>>>>> and work out their own fucking problems. I'm not mad thatKate  brought this
>>>>>> up, I think she did what she thought was best but I'm also confused why
>>>>>> people come to us so much. I feel like the shit talk is really between
>>>>>> them, and it's Vancouver, shit talk is as normal as the rain.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > Positive thing is this asserts why I need to step away from the
>>>>>> space. Away from scene shit. Ideally off a cliff.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > (Obviously last sentence is a joke...)
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > --
>>>>>> > Anju Singh
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > _______________________________________________
>>>>>> > Blacklabcollective mailing list
>>>>>> > Blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca
>>>>>> > https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/blacklabcollective
>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>> Blacklabcollective mailing list
>>>>>> Blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca
>>>>>> https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/blacklabcollective
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> --
>>>>> Anju Singh
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> --
>>>> Anju Singh
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>> Blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca
>>>> https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/blacklabcollective
>>>>
>>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>
>>>
>>
>> --
>> Anju Singh
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> Blacklabcollective mailing list
>> Blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca
>> https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/blacklabcollective
>>
>>
>
> --
> Anju Singh
>
>
>

-- 
Anju Singh
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