[Blacklabcollective] Complaint about Daryl

[Eris Nyx]

Again, just given the scenario, I don't really think any of this warrants kicking him off the collective. Is he a dick? Yes. However, he is also putting work in and running shows that no one wants to do that make us $$. If he becomes problematic, I advise we talk to him about it and try working through stuff with him instead of being shits. Let's keep him as a bottom liner and see where that goes? Maybe running community events might actually help his mental health?
-E

________________________________
From: Blacklabcollective <blacklabcollective-bounces at lists.resist.ca> on behalf of Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com>
Sent: September 16, 2016 5:14 PM
To: blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca
Subject: Re: [Blacklabcollective] Complaint about Daryl

Bahahaha get over it Mick ;)

FYI - info from Jill, this went to Kate. Kate also believes that Daryl made Jill quit want

Here is my update -

I just spoke with Jill.

I asked her about her relationship with Daryl. They are friends. She feels that he can be mean and she has needed courage to talk to him about being a dick. She was also going to bring up the negativity. After our conversation she has decided to talk to him about this, she is bringing my name into it for support and strength. I ok'd this. She says he is really depressed. Her and Carson believe that the person Daryl posts a threat to is himself.  He is very depressed and battles with suicidal thoughts. She also thinks taking space away from him is a good idea and she intends to take that space after their conversation. She is encouraging that he get counselling.

At the end of the conversation, she agreed to research emotional abuse and consider how she is being treated, she acknowledged that he is sometimes an angry and shitty friend, but she doesn't feel manipulated by him.

She is in another band without Daryl. He is supportive of her being in the band. When I suggested that he might be possessive, she didn't agree.

Her reasons for leaving WANT are entirely related to how she feels she was treated by the band, which she said was badly. She did not think badly of anyone because of what anyone said about people in the band, but rather because of the band members specific actions. She didn't agree with some of the bands political stances and didn't feel that she was heard. She felt disrespected.
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On Friday, 16 September 2016, mick mccann <nomoreroads at gmail.com<mailto:nomoreroads at gmail.com>> wrote:
You bully me Anju. Time for me to call you on your hate!

Sent from my iPhone

On Sep 16, 2016, at 4:30 PM, Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com> wrote:

I'm ok with whatever decision you all make! I think he does pick up lots of slack. If he ever gets agro around me I'll call him out but I do that with anyone else so it's nothing new for me.

On Friday, 16 September 2016, mick mccann <nomoreroads at gmail.com> wrote:
I think Tara had some solid points. We don't always have to love everyone we work with at all times. And if I've ever annoyed any of ye let me know :). And I'm not saying I like his attitude or shit he's done at all. as I've probably been around him more than anyone of us.  But unless it gets out of hand then maybe just keep it as is but be aware incase future things arise?

I think they have picked up slack where we haven't been able to of late and if Daryl isn't a bottom liner either will jill more than likely.

Sent from my iPhone

On Sep 16, 2016, at 4:12 PM, tara myketiak <taramyketiak at gmail.com> wrote:

Yeah, I absolutely second everything Eris said.
In terms of dropping him as a bottomliner because of his moodiness/jerkiness, I don't think we should at this point.  On the one hand, its going to be perceived as linked to this drama now whether we want it to be or not, and two, We're not doing enough shows, we're not making enough money, and Darryl and Jill pick up a lot of the slack that we're all collectively dropping. Unless his moodiness gets out of control or comes to a point where people don't want to come to shows because of him I don't think it merits action. Whether we get along with him enough to keep wanting to work with him or have him peripherally involved in the collective is something I can't personally speak to yet because I haven't hung out with the dude that much. So Idk.
Also, I'm kind of outraged at the initial message sent by Kate.  Who do people think we are?? The drama mediators/police? Why is this city so fucking annoying right now!!!!!!
Love you all though, for real.
tara

On Fri, Sep 16, 2016 at 3:21 PM, Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com> wrote:
I am talking to Jill at 4:30 today.

I also told Kate that she has to deal with the shit talk herself.

My main reason for suggesting that we remove Daryl as a bottomliner is more related to his moodiness and anger that the collective might not want to deal with.

Personally, I had no intentions of dropping him as a friend. I honestly just don't want to be involved.

It's up to you all, I just made a suggestion.

Anju


On Friday, 16 September 2016, Eris Nyx <erisnyx at hotmail.ca> wrote:

Wow, this email blew my mind.

I don't think it's our responsibility to do anything at this point tbh.

It seems to me that people are mad at him for talking shit about their band and are trying to get revenge. I think that seems a bit absurd. Personally, I think both WANT and Black Pills are not very good - should I be banned for not having team spirit?

Furthermore, if Jill doesn't feel like she's being abused why should we believe someone's outside perspective on their relationship over the people in the relationship? I think someone should at least talk to her about what happened before we do anything. And if we're going to do something we should probably try working with him before we ban him (we don't do that remember).


Also, people are mad at him for his band being named HARM? Do you know how absurd that is? If we're going to police band names that hard we shouldn't allow half the people who play our space to play there.

Can't wait for my $50 000 record contract to come in so I can invest in a space program and build a venue on the surface of the sun.

(The last sentence was a joke).


Ugh.

-Eris

________________________________
From: Blacklabcollective <blacklabcollective-bounces at lists.resist.ca> on behalf of Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com>
Sent: September 16, 2016 2:40 PM
To: blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca
Subject: Re: [Blacklabcollective] Complaint about Daryl

Thanks for your comment, how do you feel about the suggestion I made in the email as an action?


"For now, I don't think Daryl should bottomline any shows beyond what he has been assigned to. I've heard he's quite moody, dramatic and can be a dick. That said most people who say this don't think he's abusive, but rather just a really negative person. To stay on the safe side, I think we should drop him as a bottomliner?"
bd
Anju

On Friday, 16 September 2016, mick mccann <nomoreroads at gmail.com> wrote:
Thanks and I'm sorry you had to be the one to have to hear the complaint. I personally do find him negative and never has a good thing to say about anyone but do think Jill is great. I already spoke to him last wk about him insulting people i care about infront of me.

But again this is just my personal opinion and should not have to affect the black lab or members. I have heard from others that he is somewhat possessive From others but unless Jill tells me Im not sure what do to as I don't want to feel like making decisions without her if that makes sense.

its def annoying and hard to deal with everyone in the scenes problems. Unless someone feels unsafe in the venue of course. Kate is one of my best friends so I'm trying to remove my ego and bias from the situation.
Tonight will be great! And I'm sorry ye all have to be involved in everything that happens in the Vancouver punk.

Sent from my iPhone

> On Sep 16, 2016, at 1:39 PM, Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com> wrote:
>
> Heads up that we received a complaint about Daryl being emotionally abusive to Jill and being an asshole. Also the same person expressed concern with their band name - Harm and the concept of talking about self-harm which is triggering.
>
> The person who sent the concern sent it to me and Lindsay, and it was sent by Kate from Want.
>
> Kate has two concerns:
>
> "-he's an asshole who's talking shit about me [Kate], my partner [Andrew from black pills], and my band [WANT]
> -he's a legit abuser and Jill is his victim"
>
> Jill doesn't feel like a victim but I'm hoping to talk to her in person to feel the situation out better.
>
> For now, I don't think Daryl should bottomline any shows beyond what he has been assigned to. I've heard he's quite moody, dramatic and can be a dick. That said most people who say this don't think he's abusive, but rather just a really negative person. To stay on the safe side, I think we should drop him as a bottomliner?
>
> I also am fucking flabbergasted that people can't talk to eachother and work out their own fucking problems. I'm not mad thatKate  brought this up, I think she did what she thought was best but I'm also confused why people come to us so much. I feel like the shit talk is really between them, and it's Vancouver, shit talk is as normal as the rain.
>
> Positive thing is this asserts why I need to step away from the space. Away from scene shit. Ideally off a cliff.
>
> (Obviously last sentence is a joke...)
>
>
>
>
>
>
> --
> Anju Singh
>
>
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--
Anju Singh




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--
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