[Blacklabcollective] Shawn lovebomb situation - next steps

Fri Mar 25 19:53:51 PDT 2016

Here is shawn's statement:

I just need to give a quick statement, that I have never had any wrong
intentions, and will never hurt anyone, I guarantee that. And if vileins
plays the blacklab show I guarantee no problema will occur, I'll just play
and go :) I love everyone, that's all I want to say, thanks! And yes I have
professionals that give me incredible advice.

Anju

On Thursday, 17 March 2016, Leggo Sirens <sirensongs604 at gmail.com> wrote:

> Maybe someone should say something at the show tonight
> On Mar 17, 2016 1:34 PM, "Megan Speers" <speers.megan at gmail.com
> <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','speers.megan at gmail.com');>> wrote:
>
>> yea i don't think anyone is trying to ban anyone. but i do think it's
>> important that stuff like this is out in the open and discussed and shared
>> because it's a safety issue and i feel that way about anyone who has done
>> these types of things. which is a lot of people. we can't deal with stuff
>> if it's all secretive and hidden away and that contributes to further harm,
>> in my opinion. i think open dialogue is important.
>>
>> i do know of two other incidents.
>> one in which a good friend of mine was at a party and he was repeatedly
>> grabbing at her crotch zone while she was literally trying to push him away
>> and telling him to leave her alone. this was witnessed by someone else at
>> the party, who had to make him leave after that, as he didn't seem to
>> understand that that was inappropriate. that was a few years ago now.
>> and when he lived at the alf house i know there was an incident in which
>> he brought someone back to the house who was extremely intoxicated (passing
>> out, was described to me as "non-verbal") and was trying to bring her into
>> his room... his roommates had to intervene and put her to bed on the couch
>> so that he wouldn't potentially assault her.
>>
>> im not bringing these things up to demonize him but more to note that
>> this has been an ongoing issue he has had with many women, and partly to
>> take the pressure off the more recent people who have come forward. i think
>> it's been dealt with as best as people have been able to in the moment of
>> seeing things happen on a case by case basis, but i do wonder if maybe more
>> conversations happening and it being more out in the open and known is
>> useful in some way. i don't want to ban him either, i mean i'm playing a
>> show with him and lindsay's band tonight... but i do think that it's
>> important that these things don't get swept under the rug and that they are
>> addressed.
>>
>>
>> On Thu, Mar 17, 2016 at 12:35 PM, Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com
>> <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','aanjusingh at gmail.com');>> wrote:
>>
>>> I don't think we are making decisions here, let me know if I shouldn't
>>> be sending this info to the list!
>>>
>>> It is in our policy to not ban people, so I also am not into that.
>>>
>>> I am also not sure if I can put much energy into this to be honest, I'm
>>> just relaying messages and am not interested in defending/pursuing process
>>> with anyone.
>>>
>>> Anju
>>>
>>>
>>> On Thursday, 17 March 2016, Eris Nyx <erisnyx at hotmail.ca
>>> <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','erisnyx at hotmail.ca');>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> I haven't had the chance to chime in on this, but regardless of what
>>>> Shawn has done I'm pretty politically against banning him from the space.
>>>> Singling out one predatory person doesn't stop there from being predatory
>>>> people.
>>>>
>>>> If y'all want him to engage in some sort of accountability process,
>>>> that's up to you, but personally I'm not that into that either.
>>>>
>>>> Can we save decision making for our meeting?
>>>> -Eris
>>>>
>>>> ------------------------------
>>>> From: aanjusingh at gmail.com
>>>> Date: Thu, 17 Mar 2016 12:19:39 -0700
>>>> To: blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca
>>>> Subject: Re: [Blacklabcollective] Shawn lovebomb situation - next steps
>>>>
>>>> Hello,
>>>>
>>>> Unfortunately, I was approached with another Shaun story that the
>>>> person wants shared with the collective. I guess word is getting around.
>>>> They don't want to be revealed but is someone i know very well, and
>>>> several of you know well, here are the details they wanted relayed.
>>>>
>>>>    - He approached her and starting hitting on her. During this he
>>>>    asked her age, she said 20, he said he was surprised and said he thought
>>>>    she was 18. This made her very uncomfortable.
>>>>    - She gave clear signs that she was not interested and that she
>>>>    didn't want to talk to him.
>>>>    - He then offered "i'll pay your taxi and buy your drinks if you
>>>>    let me come and share your bed and sleep with you"
>>>>    - She said she said that she doesn't go home with strangers and
>>>>    turned away from him. He continued to try to get her attention.
>>>>    - He tried to contact her again afterwards, she denied contact.
>>>>
>>>> She said she was really creeped out by this older dude trying to sleep
>>>> with her when she is super young and looks super young and was drinking
>>>> heavily.
>>>>
>>>> On Mon, Mar 14, 2016 at 2:40 PM, Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>> I asked Michelle and she is ok to send to the list, I told her I had
>>>> asked everyone independently (mainly to save on emailing) but this might
>>>> actually save more on emailing ha.
>>>>
>>>> If you don't want to read this please ignore it. Thanks.
>>>>
>>>> ****CONFIDENTIAL****
>>>> Please do not share information from this email or this email itself,
>>>> do not save, post publically or make reference to this. This is for the
>>>> Black Lab Collective only.
>>>>
>>>> START STATEMENT:
>>>>
>>>> "I'd like to make aware an issue that I had to deal with for my safety,
>>>> not only for myself, but for other women. I was involved with Shawn Lovblom
>>>> sexually for 3 years on and off. As time passed, I noticed a lot of weird
>>>> things about his behaviour. He is really unstable and has problems
>>>> maintaining boundaries. Even the way he behaves sexually is very crass and
>>>> misogynistic. I was warned by several people about his nature however
>>>> continued to sleep with him. In the beginning of the relationship, there
>>>> was a borderline rapey situation as well which frightens me about how he
>>>> behaves with other women. It seems he likes to advance sexually when the
>>>> women are very intoxicated. I remember waking up to him strategically
>>>> undressing me when I could hardly move from being so drunk. Later on, I
>>>> quit the band we played in together because he threatened to break into my
>>>> house and started to resent me for not wanting to be his girlfriend.
>>>> Stupidly, I let him back in my life. Recently, I tried to talk to his
>>>> girlfriend with whom he keeps very separated from all his friends and
>>>> partying. This set him off. He showed up to my house at 730am despite me
>>>> ignoring 9 phone calls. He was sending me texts that didn't make sense. He
>>>> was yelling at me from outside my house banging on my front door and my
>>>> bedroom window. Shallow threats and insults that didn't make sense. My
>>>> roommate let him in because when he saw her, he calmed down to trick her to
>>>> get in. As soon as he got in, he started banging on my bedroom door again
>>>> making shallow threats and insulting me. I told him to get out of my house
>>>> and he refused. Finally, after 10 minutes he left. I called the women's
>>>> crisis line and I have filed a report with the police. I am still waiting
>>>> on the officer to come see me and talk about either a peace bond or a
>>>> restraining order. With all this, I don't feel safe around him. Ive talked
>>>> with one of his best friends and we've agreed that Shawn should take a
>>>> break from music and partying to see a psychiatrist or get some therapy. We
>>>> are concerned about his drug use and his behaviour patterns and want to
>>>> handle it as sort of an intervention. I was told his bandmates want to see
>>>> his doctor's notes because of his history with lying so I'm sure he knows
>>>> it's a serious matter. As far as accountability, I need time but I think
>>>> with that time, I would be open to a witnessed apology so that he can come
>>>> back to play music healthy and well."
>>>>
>>>> END STATEMENT
>>>>
>>>> On Monday, 14 March 2016, mick mccann <nomoreroads at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>> I'd like to hear her statement and I wouldn't tell anyone.
>>>>
>>>> Sent from my iPhone
>>>>
>>>> > On Mar 14, 2016, at 1:19 PM, Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> >
>>>> > I have a written statement from Michelle that she wants to share with
>>>> the collective. Should I send it here? It is of the utmost importance that
>>>> this never been shown or the information inside shared with anyone.
>>>> >
>>>> > If anyone thinks they will have trouble keeping confidentiality or
>>>> who don't want to see the statement until the meeting please let me know.
>>>> Those that do I can send it to you by private email.
>>>> >
>>>> > Again this is 100% confidential and for collective members only.
>>>> >
>>>> > She is also asking to come to the meeting to answer questions or work
>>>> together on a solution if we want, she wants the support and is fine to
>>>> respect our process.
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> > --
>>>> > Anju Singh
>>>> >
>>>> >
>>>> > _______________________________________________
>>>> > Blacklabcollective mailing list
>>>> > Blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca
>>>> > https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/blacklabcollective
>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>> Blacklabcollective mailing list
>>>> Blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca
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>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> --
>>>> Anju Singh
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> --
>>>> Anju Singh
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________ Blacklabcollective
>>>> mailing list Blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca
>>>> https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/blacklabcollective
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> --
>>> Anju Singh
>>>
>>>
>>>
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>>>
>>>
>>
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>>

-- 
Anju Singh
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