[Blacklabcollective] Shawn lovebomb situation - next steps

Thu Mar 17 20:18:26 PDT 2016

Maybe someone should say something at the show tonight
On Mar 17, 2016 1:34 PM, "Megan Speers" <speers.megan at gmail.com> wrote:

> yea i don't think anyone is trying to ban anyone. but i do think it's
> important that stuff like this is out in the open and discussed and shared
> because it's a safety issue and i feel that way about anyone who has done
> these types of things. which is a lot of people. we can't deal with stuff
> if it's all secretive and hidden away and that contributes to further harm,
> in my opinion. i think open dialogue is important.
>
> i do know of two other incidents.
> one in which a good friend of mine was at a party and he was repeatedly
> grabbing at her crotch zone while she was literally trying to push him away
> and telling him to leave her alone. this was witnessed by someone else at
> the party, who had to make him leave after that, as he didn't seem to
> understand that that was inappropriate. that was a few years ago now.
> and when he lived at the alf house i know there was an incident in which
> he brought someone back to the house who was extremely intoxicated (passing
> out, was described to me as "non-verbal") and was trying to bring her into
> his room... his roommates had to intervene and put her to bed on the couch
> so that he wouldn't potentially assault her.
>
> im not bringing these things up to demonize him but more to note that this
> has been an ongoing issue he has had with many women, and partly to take
> the pressure off the more recent people who have come forward. i think it's
> been dealt with as best as people have been able to in the moment of seeing
> things happen on a case by case basis, but i do wonder if maybe more
> conversations happening and it being more out in the open and known is
> useful in some way. i don't want to ban him either, i mean i'm playing a
> show with him and lindsay's band tonight... but i do think that it's
> important that these things don't get swept under the rug and that they are
> addressed.
>
>
> On Thu, Mar 17, 2016 at 12:35 PM, Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> I don't think we are making decisions here, let me know if I shouldn't be
>> sending this info to the list!
>>
>> It is in our policy to not ban people, so I also am not into that.
>>
>> I am also not sure if I can put much energy into this to be honest, I'm
>> just relaying messages and am not interested in defending/pursuing process
>> with anyone.
>>
>> Anju
>>
>>
>> On Thursday, 17 March 2016, Eris Nyx <erisnyx at hotmail.ca> wrote:
>>
>>> I haven't had the chance to chime in on this, but regardless of what
>>> Shawn has done I'm pretty politically against banning him from the space.
>>> Singling out one predatory person doesn't stop there from being predatory
>>> people.
>>>
>>> If y'all want him to engage in some sort of accountability process,
>>> that's up to you, but personally I'm not that into that either.
>>>
>>> Can we save decision making for our meeting?
>>> -Eris
>>>
>>> ------------------------------
>>> From: aanjusingh at gmail.com
>>> Date: Thu, 17 Mar 2016 12:19:39 -0700
>>> To: blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca
>>> Subject: Re: [Blacklabcollective] Shawn lovebomb situation - next steps
>>>
>>> Hello,
>>>
>>> Unfortunately, I was approached with another Shaun story that the person
>>> wants shared with the collective. I guess word is getting around.
>>> They don't want to be revealed but is someone i know very well, and
>>> several of you know well, here are the details they wanted relayed.
>>>
>>>    - He approached her and starting hitting on her. During this he
>>>    asked her age, she said 20, he said he was surprised and said he thought
>>>    she was 18. This made her very uncomfortable.
>>>    - She gave clear signs that she was not interested and that she
>>>    didn't want to talk to him.
>>>    - He then offered "i'll pay your taxi and buy your drinks if you let
>>>    me come and share your bed and sleep with you"
>>>    - She said she said that she doesn't go home with strangers and
>>>    turned away from him. He continued to try to get her attention.
>>>    - He tried to contact her again afterwards, she denied contact.
>>>
>>> She said she was really creeped out by this older dude trying to sleep
>>> with her when she is super young and looks super young and was drinking
>>> heavily.
>>>
>>> On Mon, Mar 14, 2016 at 2:40 PM, Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>> I asked Michelle and she is ok to send to the list, I told her I had
>>> asked everyone independently (mainly to save on emailing) but this might
>>> actually save more on emailing ha.
>>>
>>> If you don't want to read this please ignore it. Thanks.
>>>
>>> ****CONFIDENTIAL****
>>> Please do not share information from this email or this email itself, do
>>> not save, post publically or make reference to this. This is for the Black
>>> Lab Collective only.
>>>
>>> START STATEMENT:
>>>
>>> "I'd like to make aware an issue that I had to deal with for my safety,
>>> not only for myself, but for other women. I was involved with Shawn Lovblom
>>> sexually for 3 years on and off. As time passed, I noticed a lot of weird
>>> things about his behaviour. He is really unstable and has problems
>>> maintaining boundaries. Even the way he behaves sexually is very crass and
>>> misogynistic. I was warned by several people about his nature however
>>> continued to sleep with him. In the beginning of the relationship, there
>>> was a borderline rapey situation as well which frightens me about how he
>>> behaves with other women. It seems he likes to advance sexually when the
>>> women are very intoxicated. I remember waking up to him strategically
>>> undressing me when I could hardly move from being so drunk. Later on, I
>>> quit the band we played in together because he threatened to break into my
>>> house and started to resent me for not wanting to be his girlfriend.
>>> Stupidly, I let him back in my life. Recently, I tried to talk to his
>>> girlfriend with whom he keeps very separated from all his friends and
>>> partying. This set him off. He showed up to my house at 730am despite me
>>> ignoring 9 phone calls. He was sending me texts that didn't make sense. He
>>> was yelling at me from outside my house banging on my front door and my
>>> bedroom window. Shallow threats and insults that didn't make sense. My
>>> roommate let him in because when he saw her, he calmed down to trick her to
>>> get in. As soon as he got in, he started banging on my bedroom door again
>>> making shallow threats and insulting me. I told him to get out of my house
>>> and he refused. Finally, after 10 minutes he left. I called the women's
>>> crisis line and I have filed a report with the police. I am still waiting
>>> on the officer to come see me and talk about either a peace bond or a
>>> restraining order. With all this, I don't feel safe around him. Ive talked
>>> with one of his best friends and we've agreed that Shawn should take a
>>> break from music and partying to see a psychiatrist or get some therapy. We
>>> are concerned about his drug use and his behaviour patterns and want to
>>> handle it as sort of an intervention. I was told his bandmates want to see
>>> his doctor's notes because of his history with lying so I'm sure he knows
>>> it's a serious matter. As far as accountability, I need time but I think
>>> with that time, I would be open to a witnessed apology so that he can come
>>> back to play music healthy and well."
>>>
>>> END STATEMENT
>>>
>>> On Monday, 14 March 2016, mick mccann <nomoreroads at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>
>>> I'd like to hear her statement and I wouldn't tell anyone.
>>>
>>> Sent from my iPhone
>>>
>>> > On Mar 14, 2016, at 1:19 PM, Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> >
>>> > I have a written statement from Michelle that she wants to share with
>>> the collective. Should I send it here? It is of the utmost importance that
>>> this never been shown or the information inside shared with anyone.
>>> >
>>> > If anyone thinks they will have trouble keeping confidentiality or who
>>> don't want to see the statement until the meeting please let me know. Those
>>> that do I can send it to you by private email.
>>> >
>>> > Again this is 100% confidential and for collective members only.
>>> >
>>> > She is also asking to come to the meeting to answer questions or work
>>> together on a solution if we want, she wants the support and is fine to
>>> respect our process.
>>> >
>>> >
>>> > --
>>> > Anju Singh
>>> >
>>> >
>>> > _______________________________________________
>>> > Blacklabcollective mailing list
>>> > Blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca
>>> > https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/blacklabcollective
>>> _______________________________________________
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>>> Blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca
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>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> --
>>> Anju Singh
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> --
>>> Anju Singh
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________ Blacklabcollective
>>> mailing list Blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca
>>> https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/blacklabcollective
>>>
>>
>>
>> --
>> Anju Singh
>>
>>
>>
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>>
>
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