[Blacklabcollective] Shawn lovebomb situation - next steps

Thu Mar 17 12:35:49 PDT 2016

I don't think we are making decisions here, let me know if I shouldn't be
sending this info to the list!

It is in our policy to not ban people, so I also am not into that.

I am also not sure if I can put much energy into this to be honest, I'm
just relaying messages and am not interested in defending/pursuing process
with anyone.

Anju

On Thursday, 17 March 2016, Eris Nyx <erisnyx at hotmail.ca> wrote:

> I haven't had the chance to chime in on this, but regardless of what Shawn
> has done I'm pretty politically against banning him from the space.
> Singling out one predatory person doesn't stop there from being predatory
> people.
>
> If y'all want him to engage in some sort of accountability process, that's
> up to you, but personally I'm not that into that either.
>
> Can we save decision making for our meeting?
> -Eris
>
> ------------------------------
> From: aanjusingh at gmail.com
> <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','aanjusingh at gmail.com');>
> Date: Thu, 17 Mar 2016 12:19:39 -0700
> To: blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca
> <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca');>
> Subject: Re: [Blacklabcollective] Shawn lovebomb situation - next steps
>
> Hello,
>
> Unfortunately, I was approached with another Shaun story that the person
> wants shared with the collective. I guess word is getting around.
> They don't want to be revealed but is someone i know very well, and
> several of you know well, here are the details they wanted relayed.
>
>    - He approached her and starting hitting on her. During this he asked
>    her age, she said 20, he said he was surprised and said he thought she was
>    18. This made her very uncomfortable.
>    - She gave clear signs that she was not interested and that she didn't
>    want to talk to him.
>    - He then offered "i'll pay your taxi and buy your drinks if you let
>    me come and share your bed and sleep with you"
>    - She said she said that she doesn't go home with strangers and turned
>    away from him. He continued to try to get her attention.
>    - He tried to contact her again afterwards, she denied contact.
>
> She said she was really creeped out by this older dude trying to sleep
> with her when she is super young and looks super young and was drinking
> heavily.
>
> On Mon, Mar 14, 2016 at 2:40 PM, Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com
> <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','aanjusingh at gmail.com');>> wrote:
>
> I asked Michelle and she is ok to send to the list, I told her I had asked
> everyone independently (mainly to save on emailing) but this might actually
> save more on emailing ha.
>
> If you don't want to read this please ignore it. Thanks.
>
> ****CONFIDENTIAL****
> Please do not share information from this email or this email itself, do
> not save, post publically or make reference to this. This is for the Black
> Lab Collective only.
>
> START STATEMENT:
>
> "I'd like to make aware an issue that I had to deal with for my safety,
> not only for myself, but for other women. I was involved with Shawn Lovblom
> sexually for 3 years on and off. As time passed, I noticed a lot of weird
> things about his behaviour. He is really unstable and has problems
> maintaining boundaries. Even the way he behaves sexually is very crass and
> misogynistic. I was warned by several people about his nature however
> continued to sleep with him. In the beginning of the relationship, there
> was a borderline rapey situation as well which frightens me about how he
> behaves with other women. It seems he likes to advance sexually when the
> women are very intoxicated. I remember waking up to him strategically
> undressing me when I could hardly move from being so drunk. Later on, I
> quit the band we played in together because he threatened to break into my
> house and started to resent me for not wanting to be his girlfriend.
> Stupidly, I let him back in my life. Recently, I tried to talk to his
> girlfriend with whom he keeps very separated from all his friends and
> partying. This set him off. He showed up to my house at 730am despite me
> ignoring 9 phone calls. He was sending me texts that didn't make sense. He
> was yelling at me from outside my house banging on my front door and my
> bedroom window. Shallow threats and insults that didn't make sense. My
> roommate let him in because when he saw her, he calmed down to trick her to
> get in. As soon as he got in, he started banging on my bedroom door again
> making shallow threats and insulting me. I told him to get out of my house
> and he refused. Finally, after 10 minutes he left. I called the women's
> crisis line and I have filed a report with the police. I am still waiting
> on the officer to come see me and talk about either a peace bond or a
> restraining order. With all this, I don't feel safe around him. Ive talked
> with one of his best friends and we've agreed that Shawn should take a
> break from music and partying to see a psychiatrist or get some therapy. We
> are concerned about his drug use and his behaviour patterns and want to
> handle it as sort of an intervention. I was told his bandmates want to see
> his doctor's notes because of his history with lying so I'm sure he knows
> it's a serious matter. As far as accountability, I need time but I think
> with that time, I would be open to a witnessed apology so that he can come
> back to play music healthy and well."
>
> END STATEMENT
>
> On Monday, 14 March 2016, mick mccann <nomoreroads at gmail.com
> <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','nomoreroads at gmail.com');>> wrote:
>
> I'd like to hear her statement and I wouldn't tell anyone.
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
> > On Mar 14, 2016, at 1:19 PM, Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com> wrote:
> >
> > I have a written statement from Michelle that she wants to share with
> the collective. Should I send it here? It is of the utmost importance that
> this never been shown or the information inside shared with anyone.
> >
> > If anyone thinks they will have trouble keeping confidentiality or who
> don't want to see the statement until the meeting please let me know. Those
> that do I can send it to you by private email.
> >
> > Again this is 100% confidential and for collective members only.
> >
> > She is also asking to come to the meeting to answer questions or work
> together on a solution if we want, she wants the support and is fine to
> respect our process.
> >
> >
> > --
> > Anju Singh
> >
> >
> > _______________________________________________
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> > Blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca
> > https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/blacklabcollective
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>
>
>
> --
> Anju Singh
>
>
>
>
>
> --
> Anju Singh
>
>
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-- 
Anju Singh
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