[Blacklabcollective] Shawn lovebomb situation - next steps

[Anju Singh]

Please keep it very private, especially names.

On Monday, 14 March 2016, Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com> wrote:

> I asked Michelle and she is ok to send to the list, I told her I had asked
> everyone independently (mainly to save on emailing) but this might actually
> save more on emailing ha.
>
> If you don't want to read this please ignore it. Thanks.
>
> ****CONFIDENTIAL****
> Please do not share information from this email or this email itself, do
> not save, post publically or make reference to this. This is for the Black
> Lab Collective only.
>
> START STATEMENT:
>
> "I'd like to make aware an issue that I had to deal with for my safety,
> not only for myself, but for other women. I was involved with Shawn Lovblom
> sexually for 3 years on and off. As time passed, I noticed a lot of weird
> things about his behaviour. He is really unstable and has problems
> maintaining boundaries. Even the way he behaves sexually is very crass and
> misogynistic. I was warned by several people about his nature however
> continued to sleep with him. In the beginning of the relationship, there
> was a borderline rapey situation as well which frightens me about how he
> behaves with other women. It seems he likes to advance sexually when the
> women are very intoxicated. I remember waking up to him strategically
> undressing me when I could hardly move from being so drunk. Later on, I
> quit the band we played in together because he threatened to break into my
> house and started to resent me for not wanting to be his girlfriend.
> Stupidly, I let him back in my life. Recently, I tried to talk to his
> girlfriend with whom he keeps very separated from all his friends and
> partying. This set him off. He showed up to my house at 730am despite me
> ignoring 9 phone calls. He was sending me texts that didn't make sense. He
> was yelling at me from outside my house banging on my front door and my
> bedroom window. Shallow threats and insults that didn't make sense. My
> roommate let him in because when he saw her, he calmed down to trick her to
> get in. As soon as he got in, he started banging on my bedroom door again
> making shallow threats and insulting me. I told him to get out of my house
> and he refused. Finally, after 10 minutes he left. I called the women's
> crisis line and I have filed a report with the police. I am still waiting
> on the officer to come see me and talk about either a peace bond or a
> restraining order. With all this, I don't feel safe around him. Ive talked
> with one of his best friends and we've agreed that Shawn should take a
> break from music and partying to see a psychiatrist or get some therapy. We
> are concerned about his drug use and his behaviour patterns and want to
> handle it as sort of an intervention. I was told his bandmates want to see
> his doctor's notes because of his history with lying so I'm sure he knows
> it's a serious matter. As far as accountability, I need time but I think
> with that time, I would be open to a witnessed apology so that he can come
> back to play music healthy and well."
>
> END STATEMENT
>
> On Monday, 14 March 2016, mick mccann <nomoreroads at gmail.com
> <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','nomoreroads at gmail.com');>> wrote:
>
>> I'd like to hear her statement and I wouldn't tell anyone.
>>
>> Sent from my iPhone
>>
>> > On Mar 14, 2016, at 1:19 PM, Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com> wrote:
>> >
>> > I have a written statement from Michelle that she wants to share with
>> the collective. Should I send it here? It is of the utmost importance that
>> this never been shown or the information inside shared with anyone.
>> >
>> > If anyone thinks they will have trouble keeping confidentiality or who
>> don't want to see the statement until the meeting please let me know. Those
>> that do I can send it to you by private email.
>> >
>> > Again this is 100% confidential and for collective members only.
>> >
>> > She is also asking to come to the meeting to answer questions or work
>> together on a solution if we want, she wants the support and is fine to
>> respect our process.
>> >
>> >
>> > --
>> > Anju Singh
>> >
>> >
>> > _______________________________________________
>> > Blacklabcollective mailing list
>> > Blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca
>> > https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/blacklabcollective
>> _______________________________________________
>> Blacklabcollective mailing list
>> Blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca
>> https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/blacklabcollective
>>
>
>
> --
> Anju Singh
>
>
>

-- 
Anju Singh
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