[Blacklabcollective] Shawn lovebomb situation - next steps

[Anju Singh]

I asked Michelle and she is ok to send to the list, I told her I had asked
everyone independently (mainly to save on emailing) but this might actually
save more on emailing ha.

If you don't want to read this please ignore it. Thanks.

****CONFIDENTIAL****
Please do not share information from this email or this email itself, do
not save, post publically or make reference to this. This is for the Black
Lab Collective only.

START STATEMENT:

"I'd like to make aware an issue that I had to deal with for my safety, not
only for myself, but for other women. I was involved with Shawn Lovblom
sexually for 3 years on and off. As time passed, I noticed a lot of weird
things about his behaviour. He is really unstable and has problems
maintaining boundaries. Even the way he behaves sexually is very crass and
misogynistic. I was warned by several people about his nature however
continued to sleep with him. In the beginning of the relationship, there
was a borderline rapey situation as well which frightens me about how he
behaves with other women. It seems he likes to advance sexually when the
women are very intoxicated. I remember waking up to him strategically
undressing me when I could hardly move from being so drunk. Later on, I
quit the band we played in together because he threatened to break into my
house and started to resent me for not wanting to be his girlfriend.
Stupidly, I let him back in my life. Recently, I tried to talk to his
girlfriend with whom he keeps very separated from all his friends and
partying. This set him off. He showed up to my house at 730am despite me
ignoring 9 phone calls. He was sending me texts that didn't make sense. He
was yelling at me from outside my house banging on my front door and my
bedroom window. Shallow threats and insults that didn't make sense. My
roommate let him in because when he saw her, he calmed down to trick her to
get in. As soon as he got in, he started banging on my bedroom door again
making shallow threats and insulting me. I told him to get out of my house
and he refused. Finally, after 10 minutes he left. I called the women's
crisis line and I have filed a report with the police. I am still waiting
on the officer to come see me and talk about either a peace bond or a
restraining order. With all this, I don't feel safe around him. Ive talked
with one of his best friends and we've agreed that Shawn should take a
break from music and partying to see a psychiatrist or get some therapy. We
are concerned about his drug use and his behaviour patterns and want to
handle it as sort of an intervention. I was told his bandmates want to see
his doctor's notes because of his history with lying so I'm sure he knows
it's a serious matter. As far as accountability, I need time but I think
with that time, I would be open to a witnessed apology so that he can come
back to play music healthy and well."

END STATEMENT

On Monday, 14 March 2016, mick mccann <nomoreroads at gmail.com> wrote:

> I'd like to hear her statement and I wouldn't tell anyone.
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
> > On Mar 14, 2016, at 1:19 PM, Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com
> <javascript:;>> wrote:
> >
> > I have a written statement from Michelle that she wants to share with
> the collective. Should I send it here? It is of the utmost importance that
> this never been shown or the information inside shared with anyone.
> >
> > If anyone thinks they will have trouble keeping confidentiality or who
> don't want to see the statement until the meeting please let me know. Those
> that do I can send it to you by private email.
> >
> > Again this is 100% confidential and for collective members only.
> >
> > She is also asking to come to the meeting to answer questions or work
> together on a solution if we want, she wants the support and is fine to
> respect our process.
> >
> >
> > --
> > Anju Singh
> >
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > Blacklabcollective mailing list
> > Blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca <javascript:;>
> > https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/blacklabcollective
> _______________________________________________
> Blacklabcollective mailing list
> Blacklabcollective at lists.resist.ca <javascript:;>
> https://lists.resist.ca/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/blacklabcollective
>


-- 
Anju Singh
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