[Blacklabcollective] CONFIDENTIAL - Sean lovebomb

Tue Mar 8 13:30:40 PST 2016

I can update that he does now know that people are talking, we confronted him as a band last night. We weren't permitted to give him any details or specifics but I'm sure he has an idea. He is trying to be accountable and take responsibility with humility, and knows he has work ahead of him, but he deserves disclosure and respect too, and people should feel free to contact him directly with concerns, he is receptive. I also really don't think I'm needed as an intermediary, and would rather not act as one. I'm already a little sore that I got the pleasure of raising all this to his attention but it isn't fair for all these conversations to only happen behind his back, either. Thanks you for also talking to him, Anju. Again, I don't think I'm the right person to speak on behalf of the collective on this one.

> On Mar 8, 2016, at 11:19 AM, tara myketiak <taramyketiak at gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> Thanks for doing that Anju...I don't want you to feel alone in this and my gut reaction echoes what's already been said by you all in this thread, and apart from what has been discussed here I don't know any of the details of what went down (not that that is necessarily info I need to know) and I have no relationship with shawn whatsoever so I don't know if that puts me in a uniquely bad or uniquely good position to get directly involved?  So I'm just going to follow everyone's lead and let me know if there is anything in particular I can do to share the responsibilities of dealing with this Anju.
> 
>> On Tue, Mar 8, 2016 at 10:37 AM, Anju Singh <aanjusingh at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Update:
>> 
>> Shaun contacted me today, I can't take this on alone (also why I'm writing to the collective because I need to not be alone on this), so I offered a solution, which is that he will write us a statement of what he can do to repair stuff and how he might be able to be in the space/play the show he's booked for in light of all of this. This will be my last independent act on this situation because it's pretty draining and I think it's a collective matter (re: playing and attending shows). 
>> 
>> Of course we all understand that safer space and the comfort of those who come forward is of the highest priority. That said, we have agreed that restorative justice is a high value priority for us as well and we are hesitant to ban individuals. This means that we would ideally find a way to uphold our value of restorative justice but also make sure it will comply with these basic rights of safer space as well. 
>> 
>> We also agreed that women doing repair work for dudes is bogus, and I want to be clear that I had clear boundaries with that too. When I spoke to him today I explained this and had a timer and gave him 5 minutes. The solution of him taking on the work of reflecting on his behaviour and writing a statement explaining how this can be repaired/how he can take responsibility seemed fitting. I also asked him to offer the opportunity for people to talk to him rather than approaching/calling people to talk to them. It seems less boundary pushing and more collaborative. 
>> 
>> Let me know how you might want to receive the statement. Email or at the meeting.
>> 
>> Anju 
>> 
>> 
>>> On Monday, 7 March 2016, heather black <hashmcdonald at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> am I able to updated? since I just joined I can't see previous threads...or we can just discuss at next meeting? 
>>> 
>>> On Monday, 7 March 2016, Megan Speers <speers.megan at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> I'm happy with respecting her needs. I am weirdly peripherally close to this situation, without really being close to Shawn, and part of why I'm not close to him is because there are women in my life who don't feel safe around him due to past actions. I don't personally feel unsafe around him but it doesn't make me wana be pals with him...
>>>> I don't feel like I want to put any work in on his shit to be honest, though I hope that friends of his who are closer to him can convince him he needs to be more respectful of boundaries, take these things seriously, be accountable for his actions, etc. IDEALLY, there are some men in his life who can take on this work. I'm not into putting in emotional labour into supporting sketchy dudes, not to sound harsh... 
>>>> I don't know what to do about any of this and I'm not stoked on the idea of banning anyone or anything, but I also have zero desire to try to work with him on his shit. Whatever everyone else decides is fine with me. It can be a meeting discussion for sure.
>>>> 
>>>>> On Mon, Mar 7, 2016 at 1:33 PM, Leggo Sirens <sirensongs604 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> Yeah that sounds right. Overall though we need to value her needs regardless of his attempts at repair. Like if she is willing to have a mediated conversation then we would go from there but if she straight-up doesn't want him in the space then we have to honour that regardless of his side of the story. His actions to repair and be accountable are separate from her requests for safer space.
>>>>> 
>>>>> 
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>> 
>> 
>> -- 
>> Anju Singh
>> 
>> 
>> 
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